If you are a 17 Magazine junky like I am, one of the things you can always count on reading in their back-to-school issue is, “How to make friends during your first year of college”. Incoming freshman are always apprehensive about getting to know people when they first get to their campuses, but if you think about it, it’s really not that hard.
All “freshmen” (first-years) share one huge thing in common; they are new to the college. That alone is a way to make friends. With a bunch of people just like you running around looking for friends, you are bound to meet a couple people who share the same interests as you, or at least someone you can bond over being new to grounds with.
On top of that, most freshmen live in the same area, so meeting up with people or visiting them at night isn’t too difficult. Hanging out is ten times easier because logistically you don’t have to go too far.
So with all of this working in your favor, by the end of your freshman year you have a solid group of friends. So why is it that when you come back in the fall everything is different? You barely see your group of friends from last year and your “bestie” is no longer in your tops on snapchat.
Well, the truth is most friendships break apart after your freshman year of college because of 2 things.
You’re not living together:
Whether you lived with your best friend freshman year or just lived close by, I’m almost positive that played a big role in why your friendship was so successful. Unless you both are living together after first year, you probably will not see them as often, and when you do it will take a lot of planning and effort on your part. Going to see them is no longer just a couple of steps away; it might be a car ride or fifteen minute walk.
You don’t share the same interests:
During your first year you both had one huge thing in common, you were both first years and were new to the whole college experience, but now that is no longer the glue that binds you two together. Now you are worried about your major and the internship you will take next summer. Now you are into clubs and meeting people who you actually have genuine similarities with. Not to say that what you and your friend experienced last year wasn’t special, but now you have met people who grab your attention in a different way, and your new friendships have more substance.
Many people wonder why friendships change between first year and fourth year, and honestly, it’s because you change. As time goes on in college you find what and who is most important to you. That means letting go of the things that don’t quite fit the bill, and unfortunately, sometimes that includes some of your first year friendships.