Just because senior year is over doesn’t mean that the Thanksgiving rapid fire question game ceases to exist. Prepare yourself for a whole new level of interrogations. Remember the countless questions that sounded a bit like “What schools have you applied for?”, “Where are you going?”, “What do you want to be? Why do you want to do that?”, “How are your grades?”, “What about *insert significant other here*?”, etc. It seemed that college status would relieve us of these questions that spell a Thanksgiving nightmare. Unfortunately, the questions continue to get progressively worse and even more personal once you hit college.
Though we wish we could all just stroll in, back from college, and get straight to eating that Turkey like Joey, things can never be that easy. You’ve been away from home for three months, your family is dying to hug you and kiss you and you’re dying to cuddle with your dog/cat and curl up in your own bed. The good news is when you come home from college, you won’t be going straight to Thanksgiving dinner and you’ll be going home to your immediate family instead. This is a great opportunity to talk to them about everything that’s been going on (the good and the bad) and give your family a heads up on topics you really would like to avoid at dinner. So if your grades weren’t too hot this semester, your significant other broke up with you, you’re having a rocky time with friends, or maybe there’s that one family member that makes you want to drop kick a baby, your family can be in-the-know to bail you out during dinner with a quick conversation change when the topic arises. Bless up fam.
Thanksgiving Day dinner is finally here! The family is pouring in to the grandparents’ house. There’s the smell of turkey and stuffing in the air as the elders in the kitchen run around preparing the last of the food that was suppose be done by five, but won’t be ready until seven. The children are running around outside in the brisk fall air. The men have taken over the living room TV to watch the big game. People are already groaning about wanting food. You’re safe for now, right?
WRONG. The questions start immediately. In fact, it seems the hard hitter questions always hit right in the middle of dinner, so everyone can stare at you in utter disappointment.
“So how’s school going?”
Oh you know, I’m just on fire and everything else is on fire and I only sleep about three hours a night and my exams are practically in a foreign language from the class itself, but everything is fine.
“You’re over there at big ol’ *insert name of college here*, how you liking it?”
This is usually the moment where you say it’s alright and then Cousin Jimmy who went to the college rival school has to pipe up about how fantastic his college was. Shut up Jimmy, you graduated like eight years ago, move out of your parents’ house already.
“How about those grades?”
What matters is that I have my health.
“What’s your major again? Can that even get you a job?”
First off, rude. Second off, fight me. Third off, I can’t actually say anything because mom said it’s not polite to tell Uncle Dan to shove it. My major, regardless to what you think, is meaningful to me and I may not have it all together, but if I’m doing something that makes me happy, then I’m one step closer to getting to where I need to be in life.
“Wait, you changed your major? You don’t want to be a doctor anymore? Why?”
It’s perfectly okay for me to change my mind. It’s better that I realize this now than to go all the way through school only to decide that what I’m doing isn’t what’s right for me. Yes, I abandoned a major that was in the STEM field; no, that doesn’t mean it will be impossible for me to find work.
“Well, you’ve heard how *insert insanely successful cousin* is doing, right? Pretty amazing!”
Yes, thank you for reminding me of my inferiority. I shall cherish it always.
“So have you found yourself a boyfriend yet?”
Annnnnddddd ten points to Aunt Jan for bringing personal things to the dinner table! Most of the time my hair hasn’t been washed in three days. I’m walking around in sweatpants. I hide away in the dining hall for hours salvaging my meal swipes with a giant stack of books and occupying an entire table because I have zero plans of moving from my spot for several hours. I often times can be caught in the library at 2am asleep on one of my textbooks with a little bit of drool coming out of my mouth. So being the mighty attractive young maiden I am, I’m having to beat these men off me left and right. They dig the hobo look.
“You don’t party too much do ya? Staying away from those frat houses, right!?”
Yes, I’m going to totally answer this question with the complete and total truth in front of all my elders. In, fact I’ll even write the honor pledge out for you while I’m at it.
“Do you have a job? How’s that going?”
Yes and it was the biggest mistake I ever made when I went to college. I now get to lose my entire weekend to working 5-10 hour shifts and shoving food in my face when I find a spare moment. But every two weeks I suddenly remember why I have it when I see green numbers popping up on my bank account activity.
“Where do you live? How are your roommates?”
Five points to the cousin that attended the same university and is currently sizing you up based on your place of living. I see what you did there. But I do indeed still live in the dorms. Whatever stereotype you had of my dorm has probably long since changed since you were in school. And my roommates are roommates, just chillin’ out living with strangers and hoping to not have the awkward moment of everyone needing to use the bathroom at the same time.
In the end, when the questions just get too much to handle and you’re wondering when the magic sleep formula from the turkey will finally knock your relatives out, just follow this simple rule: When in doubt, dance it out.