Gather ‘round ladies, cause boy do I have a story to tell you…
“Brazilian”, now either two things come to mind when you read this word: the citizen of said country or a rather uncomfortable and painful beauty practice that probably sends a chill down your spine. The sheer thought of a stranger pouring wax over your lady parts while you lay on a plastic bed in the butterfly position and swiftly ripping it off is one of my nightmares, but alas, I live to tell the tale and give you a little play by play if you’re ever feeling adventurous.
Furthermore, I have this really bad habit of doing things impulsively, my brain has little spurts of energy and next thing you know, I’m cutting 6 inches of hair off or buying a $200 camera because I swear I’m gonna start a Youtube channel (r.i.p. my bank account honestly). And on this week’s episode of “Mayra’s Brain Gone Wild”, I decided I wanted to have my vag hairs waxed and gone forever, or at least for the next three weeks. Yes, you read that correctly. THREE WEEKS OF NO SHAVING. PURE BLISS I TELL YOU! And now we begin the tale of how this experience came to be…
It was Friday afternoon, I was done with class and chilling with my roommate Daisy. Now I don’t remember how the topic came up but all I know I started to rant about how much I hated shaving; the cuts, the ingrown hairs, prickliness, it was all just really annoying, which is when Daisy suggested I get a Brazilian. The thought had crossed my mind before, I had even tried those pre wax strips “down there” one time (for the love of god, DO NOT do that.), but never have I actually been ballsy enough to set an appointment. Now, your impulse decision might be to look for the cheapest location available but here is a life tip: DON’T. There are three things you should always splurge on: toilet paper, skincare, and Brazilian waxes. You are trusting a person with your princess parts, please make sure you go to someone reputable. Within a span of 10 minutes, I downloaded the app and made my appointment for Tuesday at 4 p.m, and there was no turning back.
Between Friday and Monday, my internet browsing history was filled with “Brazilian wax tips” or “what to do before Brazilian wax” as well as watching countless reaction videos on Youtube, which probably only psyched me out. Prior to getting your wax, stop shaving for about 2-3 weeks, the hair should essentially be the length of a grain of rice…putting my razor down was a struggle. Also be sure to take a hot shower and exfoliate before you go, so that way your pores will be open and everything will go smoothly (no pun intended). And now, I walk you through my first Brazilian experience.
The fifteen minutes leading up to my appointment were honestly the most frantic and stress inducing I had ever been through; I had left my phone at home, I forgot my debit card and had no choice but to use the credit card that my mom pays for (I’m not looking forward to explaining this charge to her), and I was running just a bit late. I walk into EWC with Daisy, since she said she would hold my hand, and sign in. Another pro-tip, they will try to sell you the pricy containers of lotions and whatever the heck they have but DO NOT GIVE IN…unless you can afford it, then by all means do you homegirl. After about 5 minutes of waiting, they called my name and I attempt to saunter in with Daisy but with my luck, they tell me that I must go in solo…cue the horror movie music. All by my lonesome, I walk into the room where my esthetician comes in and asks me to take off all clothes from the waist down, sit on what looks like an examination table, and lay down with my legs in butterfly position (for those of you who don’t know what that is, knees flat with your feet together).
I’ll be honest, it was kind of a blur. Did it hurt? Yes. Anyone else who says otherwise is either a superhuman or a liar. The outer edges and the butt strip (yes ma’am, she even waxed that) hurt the least, but boy that labia strip was the worrsssssttttttttt. My esthetician, Aurora, made some conversation with me and honestly made me feel super comfy during the whole process. I don’t even think I was there for more than 10 minutes? I walked out of there feeling like a brand new woman, must be what Beyonce feels like. And for being someone with a somewhat low pain tolerance, I would and will come back in four weeks! If you’re someone who is interested or curious, I would definitely give it a go, especially because your first time is 50% off at the European Wax Center, so what more do you have to lose besides some pesky pubes?