College is hard, but it is even harder when you have to wonder when the next day you will see your significant other will be. The distance that is between my boyfriend and me is smaller than some, but let’s be honest, when you really love someone, any distance is WAY too much. Traveling an hour or two to spend just a small amount of time with my boyfriend has helped me in modeling myself to maintain this relationship while completing my undergrad, and I would like to share a few tips with you.
1. Compromise, Compromise, Compromise
I cannot seem to stress this enough. If you are not willing to compromise within any type of relationship, it will never work; specifically with long-distance relationships, though, you must work with your significant other to make sure that they do not feel like they are doing all the work in the relationship. Obviously, with a long-distance relationship there is a lot of traveling. If only one person is doing all the going back and forth, it is going to get old really fast. From personal experience, I know it stinks when I have to burn all my gas to drive back and forth to Dyersburg, but this is why my boyfriend and I…. guess what? Compromise! We alternate weekends at whose house we will be spending the weekend so that we each get time to chill at our own places together. Compromise is also important when you are looking at holidays. I know it is hard to tell your mom or dad that you will be spending Thanksgiving at your boyfriend’s house, but you just have to break the ice and share with them that he will be at your family Christmas. Compromise just comes with the whole future in-law thing.
2. Communication is Calming
College can be rough, from juggling 17 hours of classes on top of working 20 hours a week, then trying to remember your “One and Only” who has sent you 30 text messages, 10 snapchats and has tried to video call you twice even though he low key knows he is the last thing on your to do list right now. Slow down for 30 minutes and read those messages or call him back; his voice may be the one thing that can calm your nerves even the slightest bit. Austin and I have very conflicting work schedules, and he seems to blow my phone up at the most inconvenient times, but when it boils down to it, 11 p.m is my favorite part of the day because that is when we are both finally done with our adult duties for the day and are able to sit and complain about it together on the phone. Communicating with your significant other can help reduce stress and calm your nerves. This also closes the distance that is between you once you share the events of your day with one another.
3. Trust One Another
This is my final point and probably the most important. If there is no trust in your relationship, then there is nothing. Coming into college, I had no trust in anyone, and I most definitely did not even want to attempt to trust some boy. You can probably tell where this is going. When Austin and I first started dating, I constantly kept tabs on the boy. He had to tell me where he was and who he was with at all times. This stressed our relationship to its wit’s end, but finally, he showed me that I could trust him, and he was not going to do anything to hurt me. This also goes for the other side of the party. We all know college is full of fun times, and those fun times can ruin a relationship if you are not careful, especially if your significant other does not trust you. Austin realizes I have guy friends, and sometimes I go out with large groups of friends, but we have built that trust within our relationship, so he knows I would not do anything to dishonor our relationship.
So, to boil this hot mess of relationship advice down, if you really love someone you can make the distance work no matter if it is 50 miles apart or 350. If you start out building on these three points, you two can grow together and have positive progression in your relationship. Happy dating!
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