Many collegiettes brought more than their clothes and posters to their first year of college- we brought our high school boyfriends. Like our posters, some of us outgrew our HS bfs and had to let them go. For a few of us, however, we are still growing strong and are hanging that Justin Beiber poster with pride. With that said, however, having a high school sweetheart isn’t all fun and games- we are likely receiving some criticism from others, ahem queue parents (and maybe even ourselves) that this long-term relationship is holding us back. Here are some ways to calm everyone down and assure yourself that this relationship is nothing but a positive.
Be a part of things separate from them
When going to college, it’s so easy to be so excited now that you don’t have your parents telling you what to do and dictating your schedule that you may find yourself hanging out with your significant other literally 24/7. While this may be fun at first, it’s not healthy and if you by chance do break up, you’ll be sorry later. Find things that you like to do and that make you happy independent. Try a new sport, learn how to cook, anything to make you smile without them!
Don’t let the fear of distance stop you
College is full of amazing opportunities, many out of the state or even the country! Don’t let your boyfriends limit you from reaching out to those opportunities. Always wanted to study abroad? Is there an amazing internship in DC? Do it! If a semester is too scary and you dread an LDR (long distance relationship), check out the amazing summer programs that the U of U offers where you are only gone for 5 weeks. If your relationship is meant to last it will and maybe he could even visit! Regardless, reunions after an LDR are the best.
Make your own friends
Group hang outs and double dates are some of the best times, however, we cannot stress how important it is to have your own girlfriends and share some amazing GNOs! These are the people you can vent about your relationship to, have fun downtown, go shopping, work out and just take some time away. Once again, if you and the bf do decide to break it off, you will be so thankful for these friends.
Have alone time
If you are anything like the average collegiette your schedule is so full and busy that any free time you have in between the hustle, you text your bf and see if he wants to hang out for that precious hour between Spanish and Math. Next time, maybe try spending that time alone. Have a minute to breathe and get those little errands and tasks done so that when you do hang out with people, it’s quality time and not a time where you are doing a million and one things and not giving them the attention they deserve. This one is probably the hardest but is so important for the your health and the health of all your relationships.
Love yourself and trust your gut
Above all, do these two things! You need to love yourself first so that you can love anyone else well. You are an amazing human being who deserves the best and in order to get that you have to trust yourself and do what’s best for YOU, even if that’s hard. This can be leaving the state for a while, taking a break and being by yourself, or even breaking up.
Relationships are hard no matter what way you spin in it. We hope that these things help you feel more confident and ready to defend (or take a break from) your high school relationship with pride!