There’s something in the air. Something changing about the world we live in. What is it? People standing up and speaking out against sexual harassment, sexual assault, rape, and everything in between.
This phenomenon is everywhere. The #Metoo movement was on every social media platform that my eyes would wander to. The biggest celebrities dressed in black, to stand up against sexual assault at the Golden Globes. White roses were worn at the Grammys. Person after person came out with horrifying stories about Harvey Weinstein. Time magazine gave Person of the Year to The Silence Breakers. Even Olympian Aly Raisman took her abuser, Larry Nassar, to trial to get justice for what he had done to her and so many other girls.
Everywhere we are seeing celebrities come out with their stories of abuse and harassment. It’s empowering to see these women get the justice they deserve. But what about when it’s you? When you aren’t the face of a famous actress or musician? When you are just a college student trying to make ends meet or pass the class or make it home?
I used to think I had never experienced sexual harassment in my life. I had always been empathetic towards other women coming out with their stories, and stood by their side. But because of the way certain behaviors had been normalized in television and in movies about the opposite gender, I thought nothing had happened to me; then, I took another look back and I was wrong. Nothing big, nothing that screams in your face that something’s not okay, but little things. Little things that should be big things.
A boy trying to push things too far at a party, because I had been drinking. Trying to get me to go to bed with him, when I clearly said no. I’m one of the lucky few though who had a friend come check on me, and give me an escape route. A group full of boys yelling out their car window at me, as I walked down the street to my car, disgusting and sexual things. Then when I wouldn’t respond, and give them the reaction they were looking for, they became angry and cursed at me. Another boy, who wouldn’t take the hint, even when I asked him to stop dancing with me at a party, and got him kicked out of his own frat house. A boss, who was nine years older than me, who would call me cute, and excessively compliment me. Then one day when he asked me on a date and I said no, decided to be rude to me, talked about me to my co-workers, and made me feel uncomfortable and negative in my work environment.
These things seemed so little, but when I finally took a step back and looked at them, I realized that they were big. Yes, a lot worse could have happened to me in any of these situations, and yes it has to many other girls; but, it’s still okay to be upset over these things. It’s okay to be angry, and want to take a stand against being called names, or being pushed beyond your limits. All of these guys thought that because I’m a girl who seemed vulnerable, one that they could try and take advantage of. t’s okay that I’m angry over that. I felt embarrassed and uncomfortable in so many of these situations. Now I’ve learned. It’s not me who should feel embarrassed, it’s them.
Things like this that seem insignificant, are not okay, and should not be tolerated. Just because you think “Oh, it could have been worse,” “He said it won’t happen again,” or “He’s my boyfriend, that can’t be sexual abuse”, doesn’t make it okay. You are allowed to be angry. You are allowed to stand up and speak out. The world is changing, and it’s because we’re changing it.