It has been scientifically proven that oppositely charged poles attract, and while that is true, the same cannot be said for relationships. Society has perpetuated the myth that the most idyllic relationships are between the jock and the nerd, or the prince and the scullery maid. And while that might be entertaining in chick flicks and rom coms, the same can’t be said for reality. With the line “your love life’s DOA” in their theme song, who better could explain this than the couples from “Friends”?
Charlie and Joey: Opposite Intellects
The perfect couple to illustrate why opposites don’t attract: Charlie and Joey. Charlie is a paleontologist; in other words, Charlie is motivated, brilliant and cultured. Then Joey is… Joey. He’s a ladies’ man, actor, and adorably clueless. Needless to say, although they definitely do have chemistry, they have hardly anything else in common. They are each on different intellectual playing fields which resulted in failed attempted conversations about their likes, dislikes, and passions.
In a relationship, a person needs someone who understands and appreciates their hobbies; they need someone who can understand their lives and offer substantial feedback or advice. Too often, when the jock and nerd types end up together, they might look good, but in most cases they can’t actually appreciate one another because they are in completely different intellectual realms.
Phoebe and Parker: Opposite Personalities
Ah Parker. Parker is a positivity guru who loves EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in life. His enthusiasm for life clashes against Phoebe’s personality. This isn’t to say that Phoebe is a Debby-Downer, because out of the six friends on the TV show, she’s the liveliest and happiest of the group; however, she does realize that life isn’t perfect, and that it can sometimes suck… Something Parker fails to understand.
While in real life there typically isn’t so sharp of a personality contrast between two people, the same principle applies: people with opposite personalities rarely work out. Of course there are exceptions, but a positive person is naturally attracted to a partner who mirrors their optimism, and vice versa for more negative people.
Monica and Richard: Opposite Life Goals
They have been called the model couple, and were definitely one of my favorite couples on the show, but when life goals fail to align it’s unlikely that a long-lasting relationship can work. The saddest part about Richard and Monica was that they loved each other so much, but they couldn’t reconcile their different views about a future family: Monica knew for a fact that she wanted kids, and Richard – because he had already had children – did not want any more. Neither one wanted to compromise, and although in every other area they were compatible, this ultimately broke the deal.
Different goals and aspirations for life sometimes work out for couples, but it depends on who they are and what type of goals are at hand. There are certain types of goals – marriage, family, and career – that must line up or at least be compatible with the other person’s. If those goals don’t match up, the chances of a successful relationship are slim to none. And if it does “work out”, the odds are that one person compromised their own goals in order to make the other happy, consequently making themselves unhappy.
Ross and Emily: Opposite Wants
Let’s all take a moment to universally groan about this couple. Ross and Emily were opposites in a variety of ways. For one, they lived on different continents. Next, they each attempted to define their relationships in different ways: Emily tried to change Ross’s life by demanding that he cut Rachel, his best friend, out of it, making him move away from his friends, and attempting to alter his personality. Ross was unhappy, and clearly both people had opposite views for what they wanted out of the relationship.
While change is sometimes a good thing, changing for someone never is. If someone wants or asks that of the other person, these opposing views foretell the doom of any relationship.
Janice and Chandler: Opposite Senses of Humor
Oh. My. Gosh. This couple was opposite in so many ways. First you have Chandler who is humorous because of his sarcasm, and then you have Janice who thinks she is funny, and makes it known by laughing at her own jokes with her iconic hyena-laugh. These two had opposite senses of humor, and both were always on opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to their relationship: Chandler found Janice’s sense of humor as unbearable, and Janice never comprehended Chandler’s.
Ultimately, this isn’t to say that opposites can never work, because they can! People with opposite political and religious views can bypass those because their relationships mean more, and nerds and jocks CAN actually end up together…but they have to have common ground that is valued more than the opposite ground. Maybe for one couple, the intellect isn’t as important as similar life goals, or maybe a sense of humor is the deal-breaker. The bottom line is that in order for a couple to be successful, they must at least have some common ground which they both consider important above all else; if their views align in those regards, opposite perspectives are welcome! Otherwise… not so much.