I can’t smell like a girl. By that I mean I can’t use perfumes or anything scented on my skin. I have to use special soap that is practically free of everything. My laundry detergent is formulated for infant skin. I can’t have candles burning for too long around me or else it feels like I’m having an allergic reaction. I can’t be in a room that was recently sprayed with air freshener. I can’t keep fresh flowers in my room. I can’t walk barefoot on the grass. I can’t even touch grass.
I have had eczema for as long as I can remember.
I remember as a child how much it burned to shower after I had been playing outside all day.
I remember the constant stream of questions about the angry red bumps on my arms from kids in elementary school.
I remember how badly it hurt to bend my arms after P.E. because sweating made it sting.
I remember hating going swimming because the chlorine irritated my skin.
The worst part of it all was how alone I felt. I couldn’t be a carefree kid because I had to worry about what touched my skin. I couldn’t decide to go swimming on a whim. Things like that took lots of planning and if I didn’t immediately rinse off afterwards I would be a itchy mess for the next few days. I had to be the party pooper. I had to say no to super fun things.
Let me get one thing straight, eczema is not contagious. I don’t have it because I’m dirty or don’t take care of myself. It can be caused by genetics or abnormal functions of one’s immune system or a multitude of other factors. So if you don’t have it, believe me you would know if you do, don’t be scared of it. You don’t need to point out that I have a really strange rash on my hand/arm. Trust me I know it’s there.
But because of all this I have a very special place in my heart for those going through similar things. I know how embarrassing it is to have eczema and how awful it feels to have people draw attention to it. This has helped me find my passion in life, skin. I know that sounds pretty creepy but I understand how frustrating it can be to try try every product and have nothing cure the itching, the burning, any of it. So I have spent countless hours reading the tiny text on the ingredient list on lotions. I know why certain things irritate my skin more than others and I want to help people that are going through similar issues. I want to be able to help others feel confident enough to wear short sleeve shirts. I’ve been there. I want to ensure that others have a more positive experience than I did. No one should feel ashamed for something they cannot help. Instead of holding me back my goal is to one day be the person that helps someone like me. It’s a process but I’m working on being comfortable in my own skin.