I live with 6 girls, so I know what having all different types of roommates are. Sometimes you want to decorate her room with flowers and chocolates because you love her so much, and other times you have thoughts of pouring her $80 shampoo down the drain followed by mashing up all of her freakin’ Lush body washes that she swears by. Maybe you and your roomie started out as besties, you couldn’t imagine how much fun you two would have, it would be like the twin sister you never had and OH MY GOD, YOU SUDDENLY HAVE DOUBLE THE AMOUNT OF CLOTHES. But with all of the positives their are some negatives, here’s how to figure this out and still be homies when the lease is up!
1. You should tell her when she does something that’s super annoying.
Seriously if your pet peeve is people leaving shoes in the kitchen with socks sprawled somewhere in the nearby space of where you potentially could call 5 second rule on a fallen cookie, tell her that you really need her to take them off somewhere else because of the amount it bothers you to the point where you want to yell at her until she is deaf. Chances are she won’t even realize she is doing it and probably will mention something you do that bothers her. Talking about these things also can avoid future fights.
2. You shouldn’t tell her that it’s her fault.
Picture this: you wake up twenty minutes late, your printer is out of ink, your straightener won’t turn on, your car is waiting for you with a lovely parking ticket, and then you get to school and realize you forgot you have a test in that class. Don’t take out your rough day on her when you get home. She didn’t sneak into your room and turn off the alarm or tell your teacher to have a test that day, and if she did move out homegirl. Feel free to vent to her but don’t yell at her for your day.
3. You should tell her your plans.
I know she’s not your mom and you don’t have to ask permission to go spend the night at your boyfriend’s house, but tell her where you are. Split the cost of a calendar or just write notes on the fridge about where you are and when you may be home. Not so she can judge your or join you, but just so if, heaven forbid, anything happens, she will at least know where to start looking for your dead body. Or bring you food. Whatever.
4. You shouldn’t ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ever, ask her to lower your rent.
They say money can’t buy happiness, but money sure as hell can make you ridiculously upset. If you are struggling with rent, be open with her about it, but before you go knocking on her banks door and asking for her to lower your part or for her to cover for you, figure out how you can make it. Donate plasma, walk dogs, do whatever it takes and start looking for a job.
5. You should tell her what is on and off limits.
One gallon of milk is probably enough for you two to share, but that black dress you bought that cost you more then the new car you have might not be the best dress for her to borrow for a weekend trip to Vegas with her ratchet friends. Make it clear what is shareable and what’s not. And be cool. You do not need a whole bag of Cheese Doodles to yourself, she can have them. I promise.
6. You shouldn’t tell her you hate her boyfriend.
He leaves the seat up and eats your leftover Mexican food on Saturday mornings, which obviously has your name written in Sharpie. He’s walked in on you naked in the shower more than once. As much as you can’t stand him, she loves him. It isn’t your place to tell her all of his bad habits, she’ll figure it out. But….
7. You should tell her if you are genuinely uncomfortable with someone in the house.
He’s walked in on you in the shower 7 times?! Probably not accidental. You can hear the water running for the love of everything that is pure. Tell your roommate if someone she brings over makes you feel uncomfortable and scared. Remember you live their too and you have a right to feel safe in your own home.
8. You shouldn’t tell her that you can’t handle the way she is showing you love.
I’m not, repeat not, a touch person. A hug sounds about as terrible as walking through a pit of fire. But if she is a touch person and needs a hug, give her one and keep quiet about it. She lives with you and she also should feel safe with you. If it’s at the point where it is excessive, maybe ask for a bit of space but don’t make her feel guilty, sad, or embarrassed for trying to show you her appreciation for you.