The first thing that comes to mind when talking about Mormon girls is Sandra Dee, abstinence, and the boycotting of college students’ life force: coffee.
While some of these stereotypes may be true for some Mormon girls, or at least comprise a part of their identity, it doesn’t accurately describe what we’re really like. Stereotyping any “type” of girl – sorority girls, cheerleaders, etc. – restricts them to a two-dimensional categorization, and it neglects to account for who they actually are.
1. Judgmental? Not so much.
I can’t speak for every Mormon girl, but from the majority of Mormon girls I know… we aren’t judging you for the “Non-Mormon” thing you engage in. If you party, drink, or get tattoos, then that’s your prerogative! I might not choose the same, but to each their own. It’s like politics: do I disrespect people who are of my opposing party? No. Those choices are their own, and I have mine. Republican, Democrat, Mormon or non-Mormon, having different views on how we live our lives is one hundred percent okay! You do your shots with tequila, and I’ll do mine with root beer!
2. We are not Amish
The extent of our relationship with a guy is not limited to hand holding. We do believe in kissing! We do believe in dating before marriage! We might believe in abstinence, but again, to each their own.
3. We aren’t all the same
Depending on where you come from, Mormon culture varies; Mormon girls from California are very different from the Mormon girls you might find in Utah. Different girls interpret their religion in different ways. I accept what resonates with me, and the same goes for others. Some of us have doubts about it, and some accept every grain of it. We are girls who don’t accept everything a Church tells us we should believe. We evaluate, decide what we feel is right, and base our lives off of that.
4. Marriage is NOT the Ultimate Goal
The memes about Mormon girls and their Gollum-like desire for a ring are pretty hilarious. But in all seriousness, we do aspire to do more in life than get married and settle down. Do I one day hope to be married? Yes, but probably not for a while. I have career goals, I’d love to travel to Italy and try every kind of gelato, I’d love to date and date around instead of settling. Marriage is just one of my life goals, and my entire identity does not hinge on it.
5. We’re Just Like You
Sometimes we’re afraid that because we choose to live our lives in different ways we’ll be judged for it. But just how skinny-shaming isn’t the way to maintain body positivity, shaming someone for traditional – or non-traditional values – isn’t the answer to celebrating one lifestyle or the other. If I don’t smoke or drink, and you do, that’s great! That doesn’t prevent me from wanting to develop a friendship with you.
Ultimately, as Mormon girls we do have certain beliefs, but that doesn’t mean we will force them on you. We live in a certain way based on our convictions, and so do you. I believe in God, and you may or may not. Agreeing to disagree and maintaining respect for each other is the best thing we can do.
Because at the end of the day, we’re all in this crazy experience together.