You’ve heard it. I’ve heard it. Some of us have even said it: “I only hang out with boys.” Or maybe it was, “I’m not like the other girls. I’m one of the guys.”
Let’s not pretend that these statements come from a place of individuality. Women not only are pit against each other by third parties but are taught to remove themselves from other women. We learn that other women are our competition, not our friends. Why? Because women aren’t empowered to think that their demographic is worth associating with. Instead, we are fed ideas from a young age that shape the mindset of internalized misogyny.
What is internalized misogyny? Simply put, it’s when women themselves see other women, femininity, and anything that’s traditionally associated with females as inferior. Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for breaking gender roles. That’s why internalized misogyny needs to be unlearned — it contributes to the idea that a woman cannot be her own person and needs men as a foundation. Here’s the brutal truth: if you use men to be a crutch to prove you’re unique, you are not an independent woman. Honestly, if I hear one more girl talk about how pink is just the worst color, I will spray paint her entire car and house the brightest shade of pink I can find so that it screams, “Bet you regret slamming that girl’s eyebrows now, Karen.”
How do you fix this cultural view? You need to stop comparing yourself to other women. A common issue I see as a product of internalized misogyny is competing with other women to the point of hating a woman. If you stop comparing women to this unrealistic ideal of a woman who is nice, has no opinions, gets along with everyone, looks beautiful 100% of the time with the perfect no-makeup makeup look… your skin WILL clear up, your crops WILL thrive, and your circle of strong female friends WILL grow. Really, you are allowed to be any kind of girl you want and still share similarities to other women. It isn’t shameful to have things in common with other women. You’re allowed to like the color pink, for god’s sake.