Ha! So, PSYCH! As much as I hate having to say this, welcome back to my roommate woes for your entertainment Part V! For those of you who’ve read these tales before, you may remember that for the past three years I’ve moved about every six months because of roommate struggles. Part IV ended with me signing off as a “finally content Salt Lake City Resident.” I’m an idiot. Not two weeks after Part IV was published, my hippie roommate became more than I could handle.
I don’t even know where to begin! Between the constant state of disgusting messes, the theft of personal items, and my roommate moving in another person (with two dogs) without even telling me, I feel like there isn’t enough time for me to really show how I was quickly losing my mind in that house.
Let’s start with the mess – because that was hands down the most repulsive house I’d ever been in. My ex-roommate partied constantly – and always at our house. I’d get upset because, yeah I guess I can’t hang – with wanting to have a future and all. But fine – whatever! Party until you throw up on each other, I don’t care.
Here’s what I do care about: cigarette butts left anywhere and everywhere (inside and outside), beer cans, bottles and boxes stuffed in between couch cushions and “hidden” in lamp shades, broken bottles on the kitchen floor and spills on practically every surface. There was weed and tobacco left on every table from the living room, to the dining room, kitchen, and bathroom. My house smelled disgusting. The interior of my house was literally coated in dirt. And so now you’re reading and thinking it sounds like a good party at my house…
Well I’m sure it was a fun party, but what made me angry was that she never, not once, cleaned up after herself (okay I’m being dramatic), she would gather all the trash in the corner near the trash can, and that’s what she called ‘cleaning’. Then she would legitimately leave this mess for days, weeks, and party every night only making it worse. I honestly don’t know how she functioned in such filth. The “alternative lifestyle,” as she called it, was hell for me.
Besides having to reside in the sticky abyss, I had to constantly be worried about my roommate and her friends taking my food.
Once I heard some people come inside and head straight for the kitchen. I started to get up and go up there to keep them out of it, when I heard one of my roommate’s friends say, “Hey you can’t eat those! Those are her roommates!” I was honestly impressed – they showed me a little bit of respect! But I didn’t trust it. And I was right not to! When I evenutally went upstairs, I discovered they’d eaten my entire pack of cookies (cookies are very important to me) I was so upset! My old roommate and her friends probably ate $150 worth of my groceries and never paid me back – never even answered about paying me back.
Needless to say, the roommate relationship was getting hostile. Before we got our third roommate, I usually just let things go and would stay at a friends if I didn’t want to go home and deal with strangers dancing on the coffee table or spilling beer on each other. But my new roommate has a much stronger personality than I do. And she would not put up with people’s sh*t. I tried really hard to be Switzerland, but then I realized:
So when my roommate moved in one of her friends without even telling me, I knew I had to get out.
What’s sad is that this girls two dogs were absolutely adorable. But they were puppies and they made messes, and no one cleaned up after them. I also actually liked this friend that moved in. One time she killed a spider for me – which was serious points for her! And once I saw her cleaning up after a party. She didn’t make much progress – but hey she tried. But still, I hated that house. When I called the landlord to tell him about the condition of the house, he told me to “clean up after her, or move out.” I was livid. Clean up after her?! You must be out of your mind sir! NO way! You can clean up after her – I’m out.
After about a week of drama (that was so crazy I’ll keep it to myself) I and my new roommate finally got out of the “Hell House.” And we hope we never have to deal with such crap again!
You guys, I don’t even know what to say. Roommates suck – but I’ve said that before. I guess the only advice I have isn’t even advice, but good luck and HCXO!