In the wooden pews of my Catholic Church
My priest with his I Know Better Than You look
Always used to reassure me
That you couldn’t be a Christian
AND believe in reincarnation (silly me).
But this Priest
With his I Know Better Than You look
Has probably never been broken up with.
He doesn’t know
How it feels
To wake up one morning
And have a different person stare back at you.
A person
Who doesn’t love you anymore.
He’s never had to ask himself
WHERE DID THE MAN
THAT USED TO LOVE ME GO?
So here I am
Praying to Jesus and telling him “I’m sorry.”
That I HAVE to believe in reincarnation
Because here you are,
Six feet and two inches of
Blonde hair and blue eyes.
And SOMEBODY ELSE has inhabited your body
They ripped out your tender spirit.
Climbed inside your slender frame.
Changed your taste in music,
Changed all of your bad habits,
Changed the way you fall asleep,
And most importantly,
Changed your mind about me.
And what a good secret keeper they are
They stole your soul
And I’M the only person who gets to know
Lucky me?
BUT WHERE IS YOUR OBITUARY?
WHERE IS YOUR GRAVE?
WHERE IS YOUR COFFIN?
Where did HE go?
I can’t help but wonder if the “you” I knew
Is somewhere else,
Wandering around in a different body.
And if he is, please tell me.
So I can dedicate my life,
This life
To finding Him again.
Forgive me, God.
Because I can’t deny
That I have lived two lives.
One as His
And one as not His
And they have been
Two wildly different me’s
But maybe now it’s my time to be
Reborn
Grow a new skin
That you have not touched
Start a new life
With new love
A life you have ABSOLUTELY
Nothing to do with.
But that would leave me
With three deaths to mourn.
The death of the you I knew,
The death of the me that loved you,
And the death of you and I.
And quite frankly,
I don’t own enough black dresses
For all those funerals.
Or have enough tears to grieve
Such tragic losses.
I can only hope
That the love we felt
The love we made
Has found its way to new bodies,
And to new life.
And that the new you
And the new me
Are marvelously happy
Some day.