I expected people to ask what he was like, with that sparkle in their eye and an excitement in their smile, like we were gossiping school girls. I had my answer ready; blonde hair, blue eyes, talented musician, sweet spirit, great smile. But, no one ever asked. In my past experience, a new relationship always seemed to come with congratulations and sentiments of “awe, you guys are adorable.” People usually pursued how we met, what he was like, or how things were going with us. Yet with this particular boyfriend, this was far from my experience. Instead, I was often left answering the question of, “why are you dating a Mormon” more than I ever received how cute’s and I’m so happy for you’s. At first, I was understanding of people’s surprise; after all, I was the girl known for her crude humor and personal sex column. However, after repetitively facing the questions, the judgments, the shock, and the confused looks, I quickly transitioned from understanding to enraged. Since when did I live in a world where a boyfriend and girlfriend could not come from different backgrounds? I felt these questionings to be just as inappropriate as asking a white woman why she was dating a black man. To my surprise, it was 2016 and I was facing questions about how I could possibly consider dating someone of a different religion, as if it was such a foreign concept for a person to date a member of another church.
I understand that differences in religion have quite the extensive history in being problematic for romantic relationships, but I simply did not understand why people automatically assumed that this was some detrimental issue. Was it impossible to be happy with someone who had a different belief system than you? I mean, Democrats date Republicans, people from different nationalities and different races can still be in love, so why was it so unfathomable that I, a non-member, could be interested in dating a Mormon?
People always seemed to believe that Mormon vs. Non-Mormon would lead to a world of difference between us. Though I was a tattooed coffee drinker with a dirty mouth, and he said things like “holy cow” and drank Mountain Dew, we didn’t have too many differences between us besides a religious title. Despite the fact that he was Mormon and I was not, we held many similar views on matters like alcohol, drugs, shared similar stances on political issues, and even agreed on equality for gay couples nationwide. Yet, these outside judgers never stopped to consider that perhaps we might have beliefs outside the realms of our religious circles. Though I had no religious restrictions against alcohol and he did, we both personally disagreed with alcohol consumption. Just like he, a Mormon, still believed that gay marriage was permissible even though his church said otherwise. I’d like to think that we had found our own pretty wonderful version of a happy medium. Although, people often considered us a recipe for a dead-end relationship with no future, simply because of our religious differences.
Now I am here answering the awkward questions of, “won’t he just try to convert you?” or a personal favorite, “he’s only looking for a wife, so be careful.” While comments like these were laughable, others like “he probably just thinks of you as a fun fling because you’re not Mormon,” were a little more hurtful. Though I knew that these people had no right to make judgments about my relationship and how we as a couple made things work, sometimes it was hard to simply brush off these comments. Sometimes people even decided that it had been appropriate to publicly slander the Mormon church in front of me, as if it was going to change my mind about dating my boyfriend.
Despite all of this negative feedback, I am happy. Though some might believe that their criticisms and their comments might have led me to change my mind about dating a Mormon, they are wrong. I have someone that is good to me, that respects me, and loves me, and I am not about to let something as menial as a difference in religion ruin that. I love a Mormon, and if you don’t agree with that, you can f**k off.