We’ve all been there. We’ve all shown interest in a guy who, for some crazy reason, hasn’t responded to our charm and flattery the way we’d hoped. His texts are short, uninterested and far between. He’s hesitant to make plans with you, only to back out most of the time. And when you do catch time with him he’s reluctant to keep a conversation going, and the nights end with the oh-so awkward one-armed side hug, even after your attempt at lingering eye contact and freshly glossed lips. So, whether you’re having a hard time landing the man of your dreams long-term, or you just can’t seem to pick up that cute guy at the bar, consider some possible “cock blocks” that may be keeping you from getting his heart and that hot lovin’.
Nothing is a more surefire method of killing a boner on a date than whipping out Tinder. Nobody wants to try engaging in a conversation, only to see you disengage to respond to a message from someone on a dating app. Obviously it’s rude to be on your phone during a date anyway. But blatantly making a point to show interest in someone else, whether you’re doing it to make him jealous, or show him how “in demand” you are, is a definite way to make a guy feel frustratingly irrelevant and brushed aside. He won’t waste his time.
Don’t talk about your exes, and don’t ask about his. Obsessing over past relationships is a great way to let a guy know you’re not ready for someone new. And asking about his past too soon can make it seem like you’re prying with the intent to compare yourself to the other women he’s been with, which is a sign of insecurity. It can also detract from your personal experience together by inviting unwanted people into the foundation of the relationship you’re trying to build before it’s sturdy enough to take it.
While I totally support women embracing their sexuality and having sex when they want to, whether it’s after thirty minutes at a club, on the first date, or after months of dating, the reality of casual hookups is that men tend to embrace the idea with fewer intentions of making a meaningful relationship out of them. So, if you ask me, one of the best emotional cock-blockers of our time is putting out too soon. If all you’re looking for is the physicality of sex, great. More power to you. But if you want more, it might be better to establish a stronger emotional foundation before you risk overshadowing it strictly by the physicality of a relationship. Otherwise you’ll end up wondering why he only calls at 1 a.m. on weekends and won’t meet up for sweet Wednesday lunch dates.
When you know, you know, right? Maybe. But take your time in proving that to yourself, and don’t become infatuated right off the bat. It can be a turn-off to seem overly interested, which will only push him away. And if, despite your efforts to keep your cool, you fall right away, try not to overthink it. You’ll only seem needlessly obsessed, which, if he’s smart, will likely lead to him sending you a, “please leave me alone,” text, or ghosting you.
Nothing is more annoying than a woman who can’t handle her booze. Everyone acts differently under the influence of alcohol, but trying to avoid falling into the label of the “party slut,” the “emotional drunk,” or the “obnoxious buzzkill,” may help in your ending the night with a sweet, handsome gentleman at your front door instead of passed out alone in the back seat of an Uber on your way home to an empty bed and a hangover.
None of these, if you re-read the article, are asking you to be anyone but the best version of yourself! We all know that the best version of yourself is not swiping on Tinder guys while another person is sitting across the table from you!