I know I’m not the only one that hates sniffling in a quiet lecture hall, the only thing worse than an endlessly running nose is coughing so loudly the seats are shaking. I have been known to sit in my class with tears streaming down my face because I’m trying so hard not to cough. As I have recently come down with the plague I have realized there are five stages to accepting that you’re sick that all collegiette’s must go through.
Stage One: Denial
You feel that slight fogginess that comes with a head cold but you convince yourself it’s because you didn’t sleep well the night before. Or you’re stressed out. Or you had a bad taco. Anything but besides being sick, please. Please, anything else.
Stage Two: Bargaining
Okay, so you might have a slight cough but if it could wait until after your midterm that would be great! You promise you won’t procrastinate anymore…than usual.
Stage Three: Misery
Alright, no more denying it, you are a zombie. You can barely think coherently or perform everyday tasks. Oops…you only used conditioner in the shower this morning and you are wearing a minimum of three jackets to stay warm but you still attempt to carry on. People keep asking you “are you okay?” and you nod, your throat too sore to speak.
Stage Four: Forced Acceptance
You can’t get out of bed today. You really did try but you’re seeing double and to be honest, you’re pretty much useless anyway. You reluctantly accept your fate and start working on your Netflix binge list, at least you’re getting something done.
Stage Five: A Brand New You
You wake up one morning and realize you can actually breathe out of your nose again. What is this act of God?! You feel like you can conquer the world. You are untouchable. You will never get sick again.
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