This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Utah chapter.
He didn’t call yesterday but he double texted me today. Oh look! He used a smiley face in this text. Ok he always asks me to hangout, as in I never ask him to hangout but he bails on me nearly every time. It took a very good friend to refer me to this movie, and the number of “ah-ha” moments that came with it helped me realize, on multiple accounts, that he’s just not that into me.
Ladies, we have our fair share of guy drama. Either we are in a major dry spell or flooded with choices, no in-between safe zone. Currently I am entering my dry-spell, and upon watching He’s Just Not That Into You, I was thoughtfully enlightened. Each of these types has made an appearance in my life, and here are the stories and the moments of realization that came along with them.
Conor
Went out with Gigi and never called her again.
My story is a little different, but the idea of a “ghoster” goes right along with Conor’s – and let’s just say the name may be fitting too… I went out exclusively for about a month with a guy. I met his family and friends while he met my co-workers. I bought him gifts and paid for meals on occasion. One night, I made him dinner, we went out to breakfast the next morning and then… Nothing. Nada. No text, no call, not even a snap chat or FB like. For months, although I’d let the guy go, I’d never fully understood the situation. But just as Conor didn’t call sweet Gigi, this particular fella didn’t ever call me again. Ah-ha moment #1: I didn’t do anything, and he didn’t either. He just wasn’t that into me.
Ben
Married man who cheats on his wife, but comes off so sincere to both women.
Man, shouldn’t it be a crime that Bens’ are so common? These gorgeous, amazing actors who say all the right things? They make you feel like you are the most beautiful princess on the planet. Then you realize, “Shucks, he really was only after one thing.” My Ben #1 communicated often. Text after text. Kisses goodbye. Paid for my food, told me how beautiful I was. But listen here ladies: When a man only hits you up at certain times of the day – AKA, the night – or fools around with other girls when he thinks you don’t know, he’s just not that into you. Ah-ha! I’m not texting you back because I’m being passive-aggressive, I’m not texting you back because I’m looking out for myself, not your “needs.”
Like I said, Bens’ are not a dime in a dozen. You just gotta accept that most guys are Bens’. My Ben #2 described me as a “temptation” for whenever he was attempting to be faithful to another girl. If a man ever describes you as a “temptation,” as Alex so eloquently lectures Gigi:
…Because you’ll find out two weeks into your “love affair” that he’s just planning on breaking-up with his clueless girlfriend. When he said their relationship was “dead,” beware that he probably didn’t let her know about that. Nope, my Ben #2 was definitely just not that into me.
Here is a blunt list of ah-ha moments that we all know to well:
If he wants to see you, he will.
If he doesn’t want another guy to see you, he will make sure he’s the only one.
If you don’t hear from him, he doesn’t want to talk to you.
If he’s “busy” or “on a trip,” he’s simply busy not thinking about you.
If he only hits you up on MySpace, or in this more present time, if he only hits you up via SnapChat, Tinder, and/or midnight, then you my beautiful friend are nothing more than a booty call.
You are wonderful and you are capable of being loved. However, just because you are nothing short of almost only redeeming qualities, sometimes he’s just not that into you. The main lesson I took from this movie was that the only person who can get me through a heartbreak is myself. It doesn’t matter how many times my BFF tells me I’m waaaay out of his league. It doesn’t matter if his new GF isn’t prettier than me – although that is an added bonus. What matters is that after I just accept what happened, I can move on. I can find someone, and I now know how to pick up on the signs of The One versus a guy who’s wasting my time.