A timeless question of the ages: why can’t men and women be just friends? I really wish I had all of the answers but I don’t. But I do have a theory that I think is pretty accurate. And I’m not saying its because girls think that they are high and mighty and that every boy they come in contact with likes you. But…there is a reason a boy wants to keep spending time with you
So here’s my theory:
Stage 1: First impression
Boys approach girls because they think that they are attractive. Now that can mean anything about them; they way you look, the way you dress, the way you smell, the list could go on forever.
Stage 2: Getting to know you
He starts to ask you to do things with him all the time, but never addresses it as a date. You finally start breaking the surface of superficial boundaries and are getting to know each other. You like to do the same things, you have the same favorite restaurant, and they are just fun to hang out with. So you start spending a lot of time together.
Stage 3: The feels
Now this is the hard part about boy and girl friendships. He likes you, you don’t want a boyfriend, you are really focused on school, whatever your excuse is you, are not looking for anything. But he has to go ahead and ruin a perfectly good friendship by trying to pull a move, or asking “what are we”. All questions you have been avoiding and hoping they never came up.
Stage 4: You’re a really cool guy but…
The worst possible thing you could ever say to a person is “I think you’re a really cool guy/girl but…” a common mistake made by all of us. You really want to be their friend, you like hanging out with them, you just don’t want to date them.
Stage 5: We can’t hang out with you anymore
Clearly, you have left them completely heart broken because they said they no longer want to spend time with you. You are not only mad that you lost a good friend, but that he ever had to ask “what are we”.
Now I will tell you right now that it is not impossible to be best friends with a man. But, this will happen to you at some point in your life. Luckily, you will always have your gay best friend, your girlfriend’s boyfriend’s friends, family friends, classmates and so many more male friends that do not have any love interest in you.