Alcohol: the infamous liquid courage, jiggle juice, the hard stuff. Most of us college students are all too familiar with this delicious poison and its side effects. It can break some of us out of our shells and cause us to forget the usually constant tugs of worry and awareness. We might feel more invincible, sing louder, flirt more aggressively, and, of course, forget the names and facial features of those we so freely and intimately associate with under the influence. It’s fun. Of course it’s fun. You feel outside of yourself, and the consequences of your actions are temporarily inconceivable. But, how many of you have woken up in the morning regretting what you did last night, or have even had a hard time remembering at all, only to have your roommate mention over a plate of hangover Café Rio that you slept with some guy you don’t remember coming onto. Alcohol and sex go hand in hand: women seem looser and become less communicative, while men typically display more aggressive behavior, especially sexually. It’s a romantic match made in hell, held together by some very, very blurry lines regarding intent and genuine consent.
People don’t often understand how to handle consent under the influence, which makes judgment difficult for parties directly involved, and even for those heading a trial after the fact. In the past, victims of sexual assault under the influence have found justice legally, but almost exclusively in cases where, for example, a woman was unconscious from drugs or alcohol during a man’s sexual advances. All too often, cases are outright dismissed because it has been too difficult to determine how involved both parties were in making the decision to have sex. But as morally troubling, or technically unclear, as it is to make that judgment, shouldn’t we just assume that intoxicated individuals should be held responsible for what happens to them after drinking? After all, we hold drunk drivers accountable for the decisions they make to drive under the influence. Why should we treat having sex any differently? She chose to drink at that party. She kept touching his arm and giggling, even though she never made direct eye contact. She didn’t shove him away when he grabbed her. She wanted it. Right? Wrong.
Choosing to drink is not choosing to submit yourself to someone else. Unlike choosing to drive drunk, sex takes two people, and if one is more eager and dominant, while the other is more submissive, it can hardly be considered a decision at all. So, think about some of these questions brought up by Ellen Kate of “Everyday Feminism.” “How drunk is too drunk to consent to sex?” “Is it rape if both people are drunk?” “How can you tell if someone is too drunk to have sex?” Be wary of your decisions to hook up because one meaningless lay isn’t worth the heartache and legalities that follow nonconsensual sex.
Kate goes on to report that a lot of states do, in fact, have laws stating that an individual “cannot consent to sex if they are incapacitated by drugs or alcohol.” But how can you decide if someone is fit to give consent? It seems like a strict judgement call, and, according to Cynthia Godsoe, a law professor at Brooklyn Law School, many states can’t legally confirm that consent was not given unless the individual claiming assault was unconscious during the act.
The short and sweet way to handle this issue is to assume that if someone has been drinking, their judgment and communicative skills are likely not at an acceptable level to make decisions that could affect them negatively later on – like having sex. But if you decide that you’re going to go for it anyway, it is suggested that you repeatedly ask your partner if he/she “still wants to do this.” And then follow up the next day to make sure everything is copasetic regarding the night before. And never, I repeat, never, try to convince yourself that someone is more into sex than they are, or use intoxication as a copout for making a decision you know is wrong. Be mindful, respect others, and, ladies, always keep tabs on you girls when you’re feeling like throwing a few back in a social environment.
http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/05/alcohol-and-consent-questions/