The Student Life Center is pretty much the gem of upper campus, dare I say the whole freaking campus. It makes going to the gym kind of cool, plus it’s free to go as a student. But like with any great gym you start to see a couple of the same characters every time you’re there. I’m here to classify them for you.
1. Frat Boys/The Bros
If you really looked at all the actual working out they do it would probably consecutively last about 15 minutes and it would almost always be arms. The only reason this gym goer is at the gym for over an hour is because that fifteen minute work out is broken up by talking to his bros about last week’s hook up or the really good sandwich they made for lunch yesterday. They also do a lot of looking at girls but they rarely approach them. Just creepily stare from afar. But I mean, it makes sense watching a hot collegiette leg press with out the social lubrication of alcohol can make talking to a strong powerful woman difficult. We don’t blame you. It’s fine.
2. The Girl Who Looks Perfect
She makes you hate yourself as you accidentally stare from your elliptical that’s at, like, resistance two and she’s squatting more weight than your boyfriend can even squat. Plus her contour is on fleek and she doesn’t sweat she glistens as she lifts her blender bottle to her lips. She’s a walking fitspo.
You pretty much hate her but at the same time it’s girl crush central.
3. The Endearing Skinny Guy
Everyone loves an underdog. This kid has probably set a recent goal to bulk up a lot and is taking the first few steps towards his new lifestyle and as you sit and observe you notice they are rocky steps at that. You can’t help but root for this kid and hope that he doesn’t do what you and mostly everyone else does. Give up. You become weirdly invested in this guy for the rest of your work out that day as you watching him struggle to bench the weight he’s trying to lift and hope that in 6 months he looks like he could be on the cover of GQ or maybe cast as an avenger.
4. The Girl That Means Business.
She’s probably not wearing make up, is sweaty ( I mean like armpit stains and all), is wearing her high school German club t-shirt and is hiding upstairs by the treadmills and matts or is in the cove using the free weights because she knows the 2nd floor with all of the weight machines is a mine field of acquaintances that want to come say hi and kindly ask how you’ve been doing. This girl normally wouldn’t mind the friendly small talk but she’s at the gym to quickly work out and leave because she’s convinced she looks like a banana slug when really she looks like any normal girl who is actually working out and isn’t going to waste time on a full face of make up and a cute t-shirt she knows sweat will ultimately ruin for her.
5. The Cute Old Person
You never can figure out if they’re alumni or professors or exactly why they’re at the Student Life Center but either way you don’t really mind. They will most likely be running around the upstairs track and will be completely covered in U of U merch. They’ll also be 100% adorable and even though they look out of place you won’t really care.