Okay, let’s just cut straight to the facts. I’m 21, and I’m still a virgin. Yes, I’ve heard all of the questions and comments: “Why? You had a boyfriend.” “What?! I’m really surprised, I didn’t expect that.” “Are you waiting till marriage?” “Don’t you want to? “Why don’t you just hook up with someone?” These are only a few of the comments when I choose to talk about my sex life (or lack thereof).
Until fairly recently, I had always been a little embarrassed to tell people I’ve never had sex before, especially to guys who were interested in me. I was always afraid they wouldn’t think of me in the same way, harshly judge me for it, and wouldn’t want things to progress given this particular detail. It was never a problem when dating my ex-boyfriend because he was a virgin too, so he understood where I was coming from, and didn’t care.
When talking to people about it, sometimes I feel the need to defend my virginity because it all gets a little frustrating. I tell them that it’s not like I don’t want to have sex, and that I’ve actually come very close to it a few times (once with my ex, and once with the completely wrong person). I’ve constantly felt the need to explain myselfand my situation to somehow make it more acceptable to them.
But what I have come to realize is that it shouldn’t matter that I’ve never had sex. It’s my body, my choice, and I am able do what I want. I shouldn’t have to go out, and have a one night stand just to feel more “socially accepted.” I know my close friends, although a few were surprised when they found out, accept me no matter what. I’ve realized that if guys judge me for it. But it’s their problem, and they’re not worth wasting my time on. And yes, maybe someday I will decide I want my first time to be a casual hookup, but right now, I’m waiting for the right person, and I’m okay with that.