After a couple of solid semesters as a student at the beloved University of Utah, I’ve found that it’s full of classic college behaviors like, binge drinking Red Bull, sleeping at the library, awkward encounters with boys in classes, and accidentally sitting in the Teacher Assistant’s seat. This school, like every other school, has its quirks. Real quirks. Here are 20 signs you go to school at the U!
1. At least 3 girls in your class will have on some sort of Nike sweatshirt, leggings, tennis shoes, etc.
And these girls will wear them proudly and with confidence because you know, Just Do It.
2. A handful of the men and women will have a ring on their finger indicating that whoa, the hottie that looks like he is 18…is actually 22 and married.
And his wife is probably 18. And she might be pregnant.
3. Someone your grandmother’s age will be in your class.
Ten points if she’s knitting in class. No joke. This is real life folks.
4. The professor, who’s from somewhere exotic like Oregon or Arizona, will say something like, “I’m not from here. What are funeral potatoes?”
Then the suck up says, “I’ll make some for the whole class!” But it’s okay because those potatoes are top notch.
5. You think 15 minutes is plenty of time in between classes to walk to class and hopefully grab a quick smoothie, but how wrong you are.
President’s Circle to HYPER!? That’s a 30 minute walk uphill in potential snow kids.
6. No. Latte. Carts. Anywhere.
At all the other colleges I toured there were latte stands, coffee carts, whatever. Nope, in fact, you look weird with a latte.
7. …I meant ‘Freaking.’
Now we’re all adults here with some education, but the second someone drops down any type of language that isn’t PG, everyone is surprised, scared, and confused.
8. Snow? S’no class?
Powder Day = not attending class. This is because 20 minutes away there are mountains literally calling skiers and snowboarders names.
9. It takes everyone 30 seconds to catch their breath by the third level of the OSH building.
I promise I’m in good shape. Really. I just…can’t…breathe…
10. A returned missionary will bring up his mission and say it was either a “Humanitarian Trip Oversea’s for Two Years” or, the more honorable ones will dup it as “I had the honor of serving a mission through the LDS church.”
And the professor from the exotic place literally has no idea what this kid is talking about.
11. Someone will walk in late, sit next to you, and mutter about how there is no parking.
BECAUSE THERE IS NO DAMN PARKING.
12. Greek Row = Club Lib
Seriously, you want to study? The library is not the place for you to go, especially if you are in the Greek system. You walk in and you throw what you know at your sisters.
13. UGurt is practically oxygen.
I have spent more money there then on college tuition. Sorry mom and dad!
14. Everyone has a common belief.
We hate, HATE, HAAATTEEE BYU. We’d rather see their whole campus go up in flames then watch any of our teams loose to them.
15. “Back on the farm…”
Every class has a kid who grew up in somewhere like Lehi or Orem and talks about their horses and “country living” all the time, while you lived at the mall during high school. #sorrynotsorry
16. When you overhear a group talking about going to the club, they probably went country line dancing.
But they had a good time.
17. You roll your eyes at the stereotypes at least once a day.
No, not all people who live in Utah are into polygamy. Yes, alcohol is allowed in this state. No, I do not like fry sauce (ok, maybe I do)!
18. Shorts when it is snowing. NBD.
And you’re sitting there in your parka wondering how he is keeping warm because, you know, the sky is falling with coldness outside.
19. You have at least 5 ASUU shirts…
From their political campaigns alone that you of course, voted for because of course, you knew at least 2 people in them.
20. Pac-12 is your life.
And you proudly hold up that finger U at each and every game in your freshly washed MUSS shirt.