From long sleeves turning into three-quarter sleeves to dates, or lack there-of, there is a special set of obstacles for the baby giraffes of the world:
1. You always have to smell good because everyone else is constantly at your armpit level…no pressure though.
2. Your legs are longer than all of your relationships. Combined.
3. You are never allowed to have bats-in-the-cave because at least three people can see them at any given time not to mention the 1 million people you encounter throughout the day.
4. Your feet are always cold because they are so far away from your heart and typically get little to no blood supply….Maybe if they would just fall off I could be shorter….?
5. Your least favorite season is any of them having to do with ice, because “my-lanta that is a long way down.”
6. You’ve never owned a pair of pants, just hundreds of pairs of capris.
7. “Oh you want ME to do the limbo?”
8. You’re always taller than all the boys, especially the cute ones, meaning you have to find the flattest shoe that Nordstrom carries and probably order it online and have it shipped to your house because they don’t carry a size 11 in store. Seriously, why do they have so many heels that are so much cuter than all the flats? Like why is this happening to me?
9. Speaking of boys, all the short boys go for short girls. And all the tall boys go for short girls. So what do tall girls get? 40 cats. *cries*
10. “Is this supposed to be a dress or a shirt?”
11. You’re constantly getting judged for how your skirts and dresses are “too short” but like “NO, NANA, MY LEGS ARE JUST TOO LONG!”
12. Jokes aside, it’s harder to breathe at this altitude.
13. Ok, but the skirt-fingertip rule doesn’t work for me because my fingertips go to my kneecaps, please stop dress-coding me.
But if you are a tall girl, you better ride this bitch until the wheels fall off, because you are beautiful and you’re going to throw your hair in a bun and listen to your gangsta rap all the way to your next class, which you’ll get to twice as fast as everyone else and handle this day! You’re going to stand up straight and wear those high heels and own it! Because not only do you have fresh air away from all the armpits, but also you can see at concerts AND you can reach stuff without climbing/falling off of the counter. If anyone ever makes you feel bad about your height just kick them right in their behind with those long, gorgeous legs and strut your stuff in the other direction because they’ll hate to watch you go but they’ll love to watch you leave with legs like those!