We all know that no one should be shamed for the way they look. Try to be healthy and love yourself. I, like everyone else on this earth, know that it’s easier said than done, but I don’t think anyone in their right mind could argue with that!
Recently, popular culture has been trending toward embracing people with varying body types in media. People are pushing to value health over looks, saying we are worth more than the number on a scale or size on the tags on your clothes. Body positivity is sweeping the nation, being picked up by several big name brands.
Psychology Today cites Mallorie Dunn, founder of the body positive fashion line, SmartGlamour, saying “Body positivity means accepting the body you have as well as the changes in shape, size, and ability it may undergo due to nature, age, or your own personal choices throughout your lifetime.”
I love that society’s focus is shifting from one of looks to that of health– mental and physical. I especially like how Dunn’s definition specifies that body positivity is about loving yourself regardless of the shape you’re in and recognizes that everyone has the right to make personal choices about how they look. But I still find that health isn’t everyone’s focus.
Remember that Meghan Trainor song, “All About That Bass”? I cringe every time I hear her sing an anthem for loving yourself that says the words “skinny bitches” in the second verse. I can only hear the hypocrisy, and I have a hard time understanding how anyone could feel good about themselves singing it. Can you imagine a skinny girl singing a song saying “fat bitches”? I can tell you people would not react the same way, even if you add “I’m just playing,” at the end, like Meghan Trainor did. The song played on Top 40 radio.
I understand the sentiment that only a certain body type has been “acceptable” for a long time in society. I understand wanting to boost the status of those who have been looked down upon in the past. What I do not understand is why people feel the need to pull others down in order to push themselves up.
I’m a naturally skinny person; I always have been. I’m the same size my mom was when she was my age. I’ve never had an eating disorder; I have always had a good relationship with food.
Even still, there are things about the way I look that I wanted to change for a long time. Starting in fifth grade all the way through high school I thought my boobs were too small. I stuffed my bras and my swimsuit tops. I never left the house without padding. For the football games in high school, I even wore two padded bras packed with folded up socks so I could fill in the top of my colorguard uniform. I thought as soon as I had the money to, I’d get breast implants. Honestly, it’s probably a good thing I grew up poor, or else I might have asked my mom to let me do it when I turned eighteen. There were days that I cried at school because of things “mean girls” said to me about my flat chest. My mom would tell me that those girls were just jealous of me; she’d say that they just wished they were skinny, beautiful, and smart like me.
I didn’t like my body until college (even though I still don’t feel so good about it all the time). I didn’t think that what my mom said might have been true until I came to college, either. I realize now that those girls probably did find themselves saying negative things to me to compensate for the negative things they felt.
I didn’t exercise until I was 20 years old, just now I’m learning to value health and trying to make good habits that will last a lifetime. But when I say I’m going to the gym, I often hear “you don’t need to work out, you’re so skinny already!” You can be small and still not be healthy. I’m not trying to lose weight, I’m trying to get in shape! I can’t jog for more than a minute without feeling lightheaded, and I get winded walking up three flights of stairs. I’m trying to better myself, and I don’t like being shamed or questioned for doing that.
I go online and see “real women have curves,” well I certainly don’t have those, so am I not a real woman? We less-than-curvy girls feel bad about our bodies too, just like everyone else. I’ve been told to “eat a cheeseburger” more times than I can count; one time was by my boss! I wouldn’t tell someone how I think they should be eating even if I think I’m “being nice,” “just teasing,” or “giving a compliment,” so why can someone say that to me and it’s no problem?
On social media, body positive accounts encourage people to share what they love about their body and to learn to accept the things they don’t love, but I still feel uncomfortable talking about the things that make me insecure because I have been told so many times that my problems are invalid compared to someone else’s or that they’re really a blessing and I’m just looking for attention.
I feel like people need to learn how to love themselves without bringing someone else down. I’m a sensitive person, and I try to be considerate of others’ feelings and I would like to be treated the same way. Although, I’ll concede that growing up hearing your insecurities are invalid does make you more considerate of what you say. I am thankful for the experiences I have had in my life that have allowed and inspired me to grow as a person from the shallow little girl who looked for self-worth in a cup size, and I’m proud to say I’m on the path to truly loving myself. All I ask is that no one tries to make it any harder for me.
References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-truth-about-exercise-addiction/…