September 2, 2011, I was 18 years old, and I was naïve. It seemed like a great idea. Watching movies, like Pearl Harbor, and seeing the poster of the sailor kissing the nurse after returning from war, really puts it in a young girl’s head that fairytale romance is possible. I wanted the whole lifestyle: I wanted to be a military wife. I wanted to live on base and do whatever it is I thought was going to happen. I had myself a handsome sailor, and yes we had our issues but he wanted to marry me, ME, of all people, can you believe it? I was a great girl, and I was smart. I was supposed to go to University of Florida for journalism, but I chose being married instead. (If he really loved me, I could have had both, I KNOW, but that is another story.) I had a beautiful ring and a dream, which was wonderful, but I didn’t have any support. Older people usually do not support of things for good reason. They have been there, and they know better. Why, as young people, we think that we are “all-knowing” and “invincible” is beyond me. So against all wishes, I drove up to Tallahassee and said “I do” in an always romantic courthouse. It’s almost unbelievable how easy it is to be married, it is just a couple sheets of paper to sign, and there ya go! (Getting divorced is about 10 times as much paperwork, in case anyone was interested. Also do not get me started on getting your name legally changed!)
Anyway, I was married and back to living the long-distance military relationship lifestyle, for the time being. Turns out my handsome sailor was a drug addict, alcoholic, and a liar. As the weeks went on, I was able to find out a lot of interesting information about my husband. (It is still weird to say husband…) There I was, 18 and married! I could not just break up with the guy, I was in this for the long haul, so I did what I thought a good woman would do; I stuck around. Months passed and it was so difficult. One day was great and the next wasn’t, and each battle had to be fought on the phone. March came, and I was 19. I finally moved up there to be with him, the supposed best day of my life was about to happen. That weekend I remember being so furious with him that I said, “I don’t want to go, but I already quit my job and paid for the U-haul, so…” Anyway my sob story gets worse, and by the end of my five month stay with him up there, I finally mustered up the very last bit of self respect I had, and left. It is so easy to be young and get caught up in love. It seems exciting and wonderful. I really thought I was going to be with this man for the rest of my life. When you are 18 you are so young, and life doesn’t need to be so rushed! Think how different you are when you are 18 from when you were 16, and when you are 20 you are even more different. Here at 21 years old, I am a completely different woman from that day three years ago. At the time, I literally thought my world was going to end. I was so depressed and low. I didn’t understand why this person I loved just didn’t care about me. We were young, and he wasn’t ready for what he signed up for. He was selfish, which is fine, but he didn’t need to involve me in his downward spiral, and I didn’t need to let it go on for so long. Now, I am completely independent, mentally and financially. I am finishing my Bachelor’s degree, and I am stable. I feel like I learned so many lessons in those years that would take others many years to learn. I hate thinking back on what I went through, but I sit here extremely happy and thankful. I am happy that I was smart enough to leave, even though it took a while. I know the quality of people I want to associate with, I know what I deserve and what my life should be like. I have goals that I will not stop fighting for. I sit here with a divorce decree, but I also have a lot more than that, and that cannot be put on a legal document.
** I know there are plenty of young people that get involved and married and it works out for them. I am happy for those people, and I consider them to be lucky. I just feel that most of the time, it does not work out. I want young people to know that it is OKAY to be patient and wait. If your significant other really loves you, they will be around for years; you will not have to marry them right away or have a baby with them. They will support you in your choices of school, family, etc. Be patient and realize that you will continue to grow and develop and meet so many wonderful people in your journey. You will never get these years back, so do not spend them miserable!