Deciding that cohabitating is right for you and your significant other is a big step for a relationship. My boyfriend and I are currently in the process of moving in together. It can be a tough topic to introduce because it’ll require a transition into a new type of relationship. And even if you’ve been together for a long time, there may be fear of rejection.
The first time I brought up the idea of us living together, it went well—but not great. I knew it was still too soon to actually act on the idea and put him on my lease, but I wanted him to know that I was serious about our relationship. He agreed.
Now that time has passed and we’re both sure that this is the right direction and time for our relationship, we’ve begun the transition. If you’re going through a similar experience with your relationship, you know that there are many elements at play. Your emotions, as well as financial, physical and mental circumstances, could be temporary limitations.
In short, here are some important factors to keep in mind:
- If you’re already living on your own, talk to your leasing office.
- Be open and honest about your finances.
- Make a list of all the belongings you’d both like to bring.
- Make a list of all necessities for your apartment.
- Consider the best way to split expenses.
- Take into account what a huge transition this will be for both of you, but especially for the person moving.
One thing to remember when you’re considering moving in with your significant other is the financial aspects. In order be practical about the possibility of a new living arrangement, you have to be open and honest about your finances. Sitting down and discussing your incomes and expenses can be eye-opening and allow the two of you to make logical decisions about what you can afford.
Becoming more involved in each other’s finances can be awkward at first, and there’s no requirement for you to combine your finances completely. Openness will lead to an easier transition, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
In an article on Moveline.com, couples who moved in together discuss how a 50/50 monetary split might not always be fair. Knowing just how much each other can afford can give you two the opportunity to make compromises and help one another become financially stable.
The physical act of moving in can be a big stress for a relationship. My boyfriend and I are taking our time and transitioning slowly, which has alleviated some of this stress. Taking an inventory of the things you have versus the things you will need is a good start.
Next, you should create a budget in order to split the cost fairly between the two of you. Being honest, again, is of great importance during this step. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices, as you may not have space for all of your combined belongings.
Compromise can be a factor in the arrangement, but it doesn’t have to be your focus. Clearing out some of your old belongings to make space for your loved one or unevenly splitting some expenses to fit each other’s budget shows support for one another and faith in the relationship. Compromising can mean you have to give up some possessions or some of your “wants” for your apartment, but it doesn’t mean you’re settling and it doesn’t have to lead to a fight.
I can’t stress the importance of having a serious discussion with your significant other. You shouldn’t hold back about how you’re feeling, but you should also go in with an open mind. Chances are, your significant other is having to make some compromises too. You should both be supportive of one another’s feelings during this time.
For my relationship, the emotional aspect was a huge motivator for wanting my boyfriend to move in. It isn’t the best idea to act purely on emotion, but sometimes you just know when the timing is right. I knew that being closer and sharing responsibilities would add a new dimension of closeness, and after being together for so long it’s right for our relationship.