We all know the story of Goldilocks, the girl that entered someone’s home, making judgment calls about their preferences of porridge, seating, and bedding. Labeling things as “too:” too hot, too cold, too soft—until she found the one that was “just right.”
However, our childhood love of the story of Goldilocks has impeded our love lives as adults, convincing us that if we look hard enough and test out enough options, we will find the one that’s “just right.”
Think back to a time before Tinder, before match.com, before million-dollar matchmakers, before chat rooms, before maybe even the Internet. A time when you met your true love from a study group, or from reconnecting with an old friend at a coffee shop after you had just climbed out of a bathroom window to escape your own wedding.
A time when fate had to lead you to your true love. When you chose one college over the other and signed up for your classes a little too late so you ended up in the 20-person philosophy course rather than the 300-person online course. When the professor assigned you to a group project with the smug, brunette boy, and the overachieving freshman (who is technically a second-semester sophomore.) When you would eventually fall in love with that smug boy because it was fate. From the moment you picked your college, fate led you to the love of your life. What happened? Why don’t people take the time to know one another anymore?
Tinder prides itself on making it easier to find your perfect match. Throw out a few good pictures from Rush Week and a witty bio, and you’re sure to be swimming in endless possibilities, one of which might be your one true love. Right?
Wrong.
While Tinder has proven successful in a few cases, there is an overwhelming amount of cases in which it has not. It’s the place one goes when they’re bored, or want a friend for the night or the next few months—but nothing serious. But if you’re on Tinder to find love… good luck with that one. Eventually, you’ll start to settle for a fling, thinking maybe you’ll finally meet the man who also wants a relationship. But as I said, good luck with that.
We’re all trying to create our own destiny with sites like Tinder, missing the opportunity to connect with those in front of us. It has opened up our dating pool to nearly everyone around us. If someone doesn’t meet our exact taste, it’s back to swiping to find the person who is “just right.” Tinder has given us “Goldilocks Syndrome.” One is too smart, too vapid, too occupied: too, too, too. We no longer have to commit because we have the world at our fingertips. The mentality that what is right in front of us isn’t good enough and is easily replaceable is perpetuated by the site, possibly distracting us from meeting “the one.”