Ah, the dating world. Don’t you love it? With technology these days, it makes it even more interesting and easier to pick from an array of…interesting characters. But, in all seriousness, whether you met them by swiping right or you met them through a friend of a friend of a friend . . . of an “awesome” friend, it can be an adventure. Not to mention sometimes creepy, and in lighter terms just overall….. interesting.
But do not despair for I am here with some words of wisdom to help steer you away from crazy town
and to instill in you an, ‘ah there is faith in humanity and decent human beings among us ‘mentality.
First, I would have to say that one of the biggest no-no’s in dating is to date someone who tries to embarrass or degrade you.
No one deserves a partner who will bring you down in front of people or even when it’s just the two of you. This is a big red flag and stems from an ego issue; their issue. For some reason, they need to inflate their ego by dragging you down and making you look stupid or pointing out your flaws. Don’t buy into it. You don’t want to be with anyone like this. If they want to reiterate that time when you face planted as a form of entertaining conversation for your crew, take note; they’re trouble.
Because really who really wants that? Next.
Second, they are flakey or inconsistent; this is a bad sign. If they can’t commit to a date or keep their promise on things, there is something going on that you’re not aware of. There is no reason if a partner is being legit with you that they shouldn’t be consistent with you and keep their word. Be aware of your intuition in situations. If you have a gut feeling something is up, it probably means something is really up. Things to consider in situations like these; do they have a boyfriend/girlfriend, living a second life, are they lying to you about their true intentions with you, or have ulterior motives? It could be anything, so be aware. Don’t look like a fool. Third, they lie, lie, lie. That three letter word we all hate. It is such a small word that can ruin so much. If they lie to you about the smallest of things, they will potentially lie to you about the biggest of things. I personally believe that character is such an enormous building block to who a person really is, so pay attention to this. Another notorious red flag is if you two are in a group setting and they lie to exaggerate a story they are telling, a situation, details, anything. If they are trying to impress others at your or anyone else’s expense, it’s a bad sign. Run.
Fourth, if they lack manners and are blatantly inconsiderate of you, jet. For example, if you tell them you do not like something whether it be an action, word, phrase, anything and they ignore and insist on doing it, get out.
How is that for an attractive quality in a partner, they ignore you. That’s just not hot. Bottom line is, don’t let them tell you how to feel. You shouldn’t let anyone dictate how you feel for their convenience. If something bothers you, vocalize it to them because if you do not and play the submissive partner in the relationship dynamic, it will just end up getting worse and affect your relationship down the road. Speak up to see if they really do genuinely care about you and if you find that they don’t care, it is their loss and your gain.Fifth, if they need to know your every move and ask you a million questions. If you feel like you are being interrogated, this is a big red flag, especially in the early phase of dating or a relationship. If you give them no reason to not trust you and you feel they are questioning your every move, look out. You could be dealing with someone who has issues from prior relationships in which they are not over yet or insecurities that are out of control.
Remember, dating is supposed to be fun. Meeting new people and getting to know them is a journey. But if you run into these snags I suggest you yell “mayday” and get the heck out of dodge. It will save you a lot of confusion and perhaps some time that is wasted, not to mention heartache. We can all try to salvage things to make things work with people but it’s important to remember that not everyone we meet or date is meant to be. Just be sure to be aware of your standards you set for yourself and as I always say “have your radar up,” so that you can be ready to yell mayday and bolt.