I heard the saying that sometimes the best relationships are the ones that happen unexpectedly. I happened to know a few friends whose relationships happened that way and their lives were forever changed. Personally, I stumbled into an unexpected relationship myself and it has turned out to be one of the most wonderful experiences that has ever happened to me. I realized that when you let love take its course naturally, amazing things can follow.
How many of us had a “list” of all the qualities and characteristics of the “perfect boyfriend?” He has to be tall, have nice eyes and a smoking body! Oh, he’s has to be Channing Tatum or Zac Efron hot! I want him to be sensitive and always text me he loves me. Our impossible standards can go on and on. What happens if you meet a great guy who doesn’t fall in line with your expectations? Will you cast him aside? Or will you give him a chance at romance?
I remembered how I made my own list or how I used to fantasize on how he would look or where I would first meet him. When I was a teenager, I used to imagine the places we would go on our dates to how he would sweep me off my feet. Clearly, I watched too many romantic movies (“The Notebook”, “The Fault in Our Stars”, just to name a few) and I thought my love story would emulate the silver screen.
Remarkably, my new relationship blossomed into something that far exceeded my expectations. In fact, I never thought that I would be in a relationship with my current significant other. You see, we first met in a student organization at our community college and it wasn’t the “love at first sight” type of romance. Simply, we were just students in a small environment sharing ideas and stories about each other’s cultures. It was my last semester at my community college and I didn’t give any thought about finding romance. During that semester, I just focused on applying for colleges, earning good grades, and staying actively involved in student organizations. And when I decided to attend USC for the fall, I was definitely not expecting a relationship before I headed off to California.
Like many others, I too had a “timeline” as to my college and career plans. At 22, I’ll graduate from college, at 25, I’ll get my degree at this X law school and 27, I’ll settle down and get married and live in X neighborhood, etc. But I realized that even unexpected life plans can be quite beautiful as well. Last year, I had no idea that the guy I met in our student organization would be amazing for me. And he feels the same way about me. He and I had no idea that many months later we would be together. Over last summer, we were just two people who wanted to hang out and have fun. And in the process of having a good time, we started to really get to know each other and realized we had a lot in common.
What’s striking and surprising about our relationship is that we are two people who come from different worlds, and yet it feels like we were always in the same one. We were born and raised in two different countries and cities. We differ in native languages, experiences, traditions and cultures. Even when it came down to favorite NFL football teams: I am a Chicago Bears fan and he is a Steelers fan. In spite of our vast differences, we enjoy being with each other and we bring out the best in each other. Being with someone who makes you happy is what matters the most.
Perhaps, there’s the possibility of meeting the “right guy” who doesn’t come from your same ethnic background or nationality. He may have lived many countries apart from you and happened to meet you at the right place and the right time. However, that shouldn’t make you or him feel hesitant to pursue romance. You can fall head-over-heels for someone despite the cultural differences. For everyone, it’s important to respect and embrace both his or hers similarities and differences.
With an open heart and mind, the right person may be amazing for you even if you had never expected it in your wildest dreams. Those impossible standards or long lists of the “perfect guy” are all on paper, but the great guy for you might be standing right in front of you. Sure, we all have “plans” and there’s nothing wrong with knowing a sense of life direction. And there’s nothing wrong with knowing the qualities you look for in a person. Life can be just as amazing with a sprinkle of surprises along the way. The “unexpected” relationship may be worthwhile and wonderful too. When love happens naturally, it blossoms beautifully.