1. The Older Couple
It’s easy to tell they’ve been together for at least 20 years. Power to them!
2. The Awkward First Date Couple
The uncomfortable vibes are radiating, but we’re all rooting for you.
3. The PDA Couple
It was cute for a minute, but if I see your tongue and/or erection for one more second I am going to lose my sh*t.
4. The Couple That Might Not Actually Be A Couple
Are you old friends or just modestly in love? We honestly can’t tell.
5. The Couple With Kids At Home
Signs: baby vomit on clothes, no make-up on, stressed that the sitter hasn’t called back
6. The Already Blacked Out Couple
Probably shouting, might be fighting, definitely not getting served anymore
7. The Newlywed Couple
*dramatically lifts martini glass with left hand to show off ring*
8. The Plus One Couple
AKA the third wheel couple, because sometimes you can’t pick between your bff and your s/o.
9. The Nothing In Common But Still Together Couple
They definitely aren’t each other’s type, but, you know what they say, opposites attract.
10. The Disinterested Couple
They are more focused on their phone screens and twirling their straw than they are on each other.
11. The Gold Digger Couple
The 60 year old man in a suit and the 23 year old girl with new boobs