Trust is an important aspect in all of our relationships. Without trust, there can be no efficient progress in developing and fostering bonds without a significant amount of conflict. For me the principles of trust are reliability and accountability; these are achieved through communication. By listening, observing, and thinking intently when interacting with others we open ourselves to new points of view and friendships. So how to be trustworthy?
Listen: In any conversation, the most important thing you can do is listen to the person speaking to you, this not only shows respect but also allows you to take the time to analyze and interpret the words without judgment or preconceptions in order to gain understanding. This will also help the other person feel more comfortable and appreciate your undivided attention. Once you understand what was said, then you can proceed to ask questions, offer your opinion, or answer if you were asked a question. Be careful not to respond too quickly, evade questions, or seem hesitant, as you may come across as being dishonest. Remember to affirm that you are listening using hand gestures or phrases such as “Go on” or “I’m listening.” These small details show you are paying attention and take the other person into consideration.
Observe: Like listening, observation is important in demonstrating you are trustworthy, by paying attention specifically to body language and nonverbal communication you show you are focused and in tune with the person during conversation. Look at the person in the eye when speaking. Observe how you treat him or her—nicely, cruelly, or indifferently? Remain cool and collected, especially if you are being told something intimate; do not be impulsive and share the information if the person asked you not to — remember you are also being observed. The way you conduct yourself in the presence of others is a key indicator of your character and interior motives. So if you wish to appear trustworthy pay close attention to yourself.
Think: Lastly, reflecting on how perceptive you have been of others and of yourself during conversation and thinking through your beliefs and identity will help you determine how reliable and accountable you are. Ponder on how you could have said something more adequately, or how you could have avoided a heated discussion if you had listened and observed more than you spoke. However effective a listener and observer you are, conflict as a whole cannot be avoided, but can be handled better if you think more. Now, make sure you do not over think or be overtly judgemental of yourself, just be conscious and mindful.
I hope these words reach you and help you if you wonder about your trustworthiness. Remember, trust is the basis for long term relationships and it can only be earned and grown through the art of communication and the right of action.