A breakup sure can be messy. They can lead to self-esteem issues, as well as anxiety and depression. So do not feel bad for feeling this way, you are not alone. You can’t expect to get over your S.O. super quickly (but if you do, that’s fine, too!). Like many others, it took me a long time to get over my last breakup. I took advice from many, but not everything worked or fit my situation. So, from my experience, I made a list to show that self-love is the cure for heartbreak.
Do the things you stopped doing, but you still love.
Sometimes, during a relationship, we stop doing things we love because of our S.O. does not enjoy doing that, and we want to please them or because we want more time with them. Sacrificing a little bit of time doing what we love seemed like a good idea at the time, but, now that you have all this free time, it is a great idea to retake that old passion of yours.
Eliminate all and any reminders of them.
Some people like to keep mementos of their relationships (letters, pictures, gifts… you name it…). I’m not saying you shouldn’t if you feel like you’ll be fine, but I do not recommend it because an important part of moving on is putting that person that has hurt you behind so that you can be at ease with yourself.
Take time for yourself.
To love someone, you must love yourself. And, how can you love something you do not know? You must get to know yourself and find peace within yourself. Remember: Just because you’re alone, doesn’t mean you’re lonely. Always enjoy the time you get for yourself and take that time to get to know yourself the way only you can.
Go out with your closest friends.
Your closest friends will always be ready to cheer you up. They know exactly what to do to get your mind off things. Also, taking the time to concentrate on people that care about you will most certainly help your mental health.
Try new things.
Go out and explore. Do all the things you have always wanted to do but never had the courage nor the time to do. Take chances and risks, but most importantly, have fun.
Think of yourself first.
You are the most important person in your life, so thinking of what you want to do and when you wanna do it is the best thing you can do for yourself. Remember: you are in charge of how your life turns out; you choose the path you wanna follow. Always empower yourself.
Do not rush into a relationship.
Please, know the difference between genuinely liking someone and a rebound. We get that you are hurt, but be careful to not go around hurting others. Also, diving into a new relationship right after a messy breakup most probably won’t help you get over it. Post-messy breakup, we are vulnerable, and this vulnerability may seem like an advantage to some. Even so, we are so desperate to gain some attention and good loving that our bond with that person may not be genuine but rather founded by a need for affection. This isn’t healthy and may not give you the time you need to recover. Rebounds are a recipe for hurt feelings, in most cases.
When you meet new people do not compare them to your ex.
New relationships and crushes may gather around you. Do not build this scale using your ex as the standard. Nobody is the same. Also, this may hurt you and that other person. When your new boo does not meet the expectations you established, that may remind you that your ex is not coming back. Additionally, your disappointment could frustrate your new beau because they may feel like they are in a constant competition to meet the standards of your ex.
If you need help, do not be embarrassed to ask.
Recognizing and accepting your pain is a big step in getting better. If you feel like your pain is too much, do not hesitate to ask for help, either professional or from a friend. Sometimes, we feel like psychologists are only there to help the seriously mentally ill, but they are there specifically for you, to hear you and give you the tools to get better. They are of great help and may be very important in your healing process.