Have you ever had to deal with a breakup that wasn’t really a breakup? You and a person just stopped talking and even though it hurts, it doesn’t feel like you have the right to say anything about the situation. If you don’t know where to start the healing process, here are five tips on how to start getting over them!
1. Don’t agree to stay friends
After a person hurts you, they usually ask if you can still be friends. When it doesn’t work out, don’t agree to just stay friends. The truth is you won’t be able to heal if you keep talking to them constantly. That’s why it’s important to cut ties. Make sure you surround yourself with people who love and care for you.
Be a friend to yourself first. Remind yourself that you don’t need to be with someone in order to have fun. Before they came into your life you had a good time in many other ways. Reconnect with yourself and realize that being friends will just make it harder to move on. If they truly care about you, then, they’ll understand why you need the space.
2. Stop social media stalking
I know that you’ve gotten used to checking their Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram and even their Tumblr. It’s something you’ve been doing since the two of you met, but that shouldn’t be the case now that it’s over. How will you be able to let go of them if you’re constantly checking up on them? You’ll just end up hurting yourself more.
You don’t need to see their latest selfie or know what they’re doing on a friday night. You’re holding on to someone who isn’t there anymore. Seeing what they’re doing just brings up all the emotions you’re trying to leave behind. Let go of the pain that having them on social media causes you and just delete them.
3. Realize it wasn’t your fault
Don’t try to wrap your head around what you could’ve done differently. It’s probably for the best that it didn’t become anything more. If they chose to leave, you can’t really do anything to change it. It’s on them that they didn’t see your worth. Realize there’s nothing wrong with you and that it’s going to be okay.
If it didn’t work out, maybe you just weren’t right for each other. It had nothing to do with who you are. Remember that just because they didn’t think you were right for them doesn’t mean that you won’t be right for anyone. One person’s opinion doesn’t define who you are.
4. Get rid of their stuff
How are you going to move on if you’re still wearing their shirt? Get rid of that! You have enough nice shirts and cool jewelry that don’t have memories attached to them. The moments may have been good, but they’re part of the past now. You don’t need them anymore.
Try donating it or giving some of it away. If you can’t bear to do so, maybe try putting it where you don’t see it daily. This way you won’t have to be reminded of them as much. Having items that remind you of the person is just going to make you miss them. You don’t want that when you’re trying to move on.
5. Put yourself first
Look for new hobbies and do things you’ve always wanted to try! Go to the dance class you’ve always wanted to attend, take art classes or join in on a cafe’s poetry night. Find a way to help better yourself and grow. There’s always something to learn from difficult times. Realize that them leaving isn’t the end and that you can get through this.
Doing new activities can keep you busy and motivated. Maybe you’ll find something you really like that you wouldn’t have tried under different circumstances. New experiences can always help a person feel better. Take time to get to know yourself and what makes you happy.
Having to let go of someone you care about is hard, but it’s something that happens. Put on a brave face and make it a learning experience. Maybe you lost someone, but you’ll find someone even better: yourself.