Photo by Etienne Boulanger
We’ve all read the articles and thrown our hands in the air and shouted across the crowds in protest of “fat-shaming”- ie the act of judging someone for being overweight or any size above than what is conventionally defined as “beautiful.” I myself am appalled at the ads that claim a size 14 is “plus size” and that all “plus size” models are, in fact, not plus sized at all.
However, I think people tend to forget that on the other end of this spectrum is another very real type of body judgment: skinny shaming.
I have always been a small girl; I’m barely 5’2” and have never weighed more than 102 pounds in my life. Growing up, my friends would always complain about their love handles or body fat, and when I would turn to them and say “You’re beautiful just the way you are”, I was always met with this response: “That’s easy for you to say. You’re skinny.”
As if my body weight deemed my insecurities less than theirs. As if my compliments toward them were unworthy and untrue because I didn’t look like them. As if I was taking pity on them because apparently I wasn’t allowed to be unhappy with my body like every other girl was.
To some extent, I understand the frustrations people have when I or any other petite female complains about ourselves; society has defined “the perfect woman” to be tall and thin. I understand that I will never be bullied by my peers for being “fat.”
I just wish society would understand that there is another extreme to all of this hate: hate for my type of body.
The truth is, I’m not healthy. I’m not the picture of perfection. I have stretch marks all down my thighs, one of my boobs is bigger than the other, I can barely lift ten pounds, I get out of breath when I walk up three flights of stairs, and I, too, can rarely find anything in the mall that fits me. Just because I’m skinny doesn’t mean I don’t have problems with my body.
Medically speaking, I am currently underweight, and my metabolism does not allow this to change. Being underweight and, more importantly, being unable to gain weight puts me at risk for health complications just like being overweight does. For example, I’m at a higher risk for pregnancy complications (including being unable to get pregnant) and prone to immunity and muscle loss.
I am not “perfect.” I am not “prettier” than you. I do not have some almighty advantage to living my life.
I want to be able to complain to my girlfriends in a dressing room full of women about how unflattering I think I look. I want to be able to laugh about how full I am after I eat a pint of ice cream. I do not want to be looked down upon for only being able to eat a 6 oz steak. I do not want to have my fears and insecurities be discounted by the world.
I am just one of many women who feel this way but do not speak up, in fear of being judged or discounted. I am just one of many women- underweight, overweight, and everything-in-between- who wants to be judged on my intelligence and my authenticity, not my body.
So to all of you collegiettes out there, no matter your size: please remember you are so much more, and it is never okay to judge your peers by the way they look. Skinny, not skinny, tall, short, freckles or no freckles…You are you, and that makes you and your opinions just as worthy as the next person. HCXO <3