Dear Sister,
Valentine’s Day looms on you like a bad joke, I know. But for some reason, as we grow older, it gets even more cringe worthy. The day has become yet another reminder that all of your friends and peers are in long-term relationships and you only have ice-cream and Legally Blonde to keep you company.
Not only that, but some of your friends have already gotten married and/or started families. Crazy, right?! Your friends are making life-changing decisions while you are going through your second breakdown of the day.And if you’re anything like me, you have attended at least a handful of these friends’ weddings. While you’re happy for them, you can’t help but to think you’re not quite ready for any of it- actually, all of it! On top of that, you probably don’t even want it.
Those who know me, know I avoid “the marriage talk.” I always have. And may always will. No mom, unlike all of my friends, I did not dream of my perfect wedding growing up. I had no time for boys. I dreamt of walking down red carpets, traveling to the furthest points of the globe, saving the world, and cementing my name in history books. Marriage was just never really included in those plans.
Yes, girl! I know you feel the same way too! There are a few of us left who not only shrink at the thought, but may even run.
The thought of marriage, as the ultimate goal of our entire existence as women, is as equally frustrating as it is frightening. I mean, RIGHT? We’re born to find a mate, spawn, and die? But why?
What is this societal pressure we’re met with every time we turn on the TV, read Facebook, or talk to our elders? Where does choice come into this arrangement? And what are our options?
But wait: let’s talk about weddings. “Cut the mumbo-jumbo, lovey-dovey shit and let’s blow this joint,” were my thoughts at every wedding I have been made to sit through. And I’m sure you feel the same way. What is up with pouring two different colored sands into a vase, unnecessary tears, or all the overdone tacky Pinterest wedding ideas everyone and their granny seem to pull out all the stops for? *rolls eyes*
Too often, it seems as though marriage is taken too haphazardly. Commonly being used to patch up bad situations, or for tax purposes- an actual idea I once had for my best friend and I. My favorite, however, is that it is “just a piece of paper to say what we already know in our hearts.” *throws up*
Possibly that is why we shy away. Maybe it’s the rate of failure marriages in our nation. Perhaps, however, it is that we haven’t had an example of what a good marriage looks like to aspire towards.
I’ve come to the conclusion that marriage is inevitable.
Please don’t exclude me from our marriage hating group. I will still sit with you at the “singles’ table” and bitch all night long.
Love, The Baddest Bitch at that table