I was always curious about sororities. It wasn’t just the pretty formals or group living that peaked my interest; sorority girls just always looked so happy in their pictures. As someone who doesn’t like meeting strangers and struggles to make new friends easily, I always wondered if rushing a sorority was the right thing to do to expand my horizons. After all, there were hundreds and hundreds of posts about girls who found their “lifelong sisters” in these Greek organizations, and I wondered maybe if I could, too.
As a freshman, I was too nervous and scared and clueless as to how to rush, so instead I focused on schoolwork, my major, and my other extracurricular activities. As my time in college progressed, however, my interest in sororities only peaked so in the Spring of 2016, I finally decided to bite the bullet. I’d heard rushing in the spring was both easier (because there were less people rushing) and harder (there were a limited number of available spots for sororities to fill–in fact, some sororities didn’t even have a spring rush), so I really didn’t know what to expect. After touring a couple of sorority houses, I didn’t really feel at home anywhere. Wasn’t I supposed to have some magical moment where I stepped inside, saw all these beautiful women, and felt like this was where I belonged? Yeah, that didn’t happen.
I still wanted to try, though, so I decided to focus on the one I’d felt most comfortable in. I didn’t have any friends in sororities or fraternities, so it was all up in the air for me and I had not idea what to expect. Low and behold, though, I received a bid in the middle of the Business Leadership Building and to my surprise, it was extremely thrilling! I felt what I had expected to feel throughout the whole process: like I was being initiated into something bigger than myself, and these girls could truly become my family.
What shocked me the most was that very same day, I gained about 200 followers on social media. Wow, maybe what they had all said was true, and this whole family thing was real. So many girls I hadn’t even met were commenting on my pictures and congratulating me on coming home. It was all very exciting and a tad overwhelming, but I decided to go with it.
I thoroughly enjoyed myself through bid day (I actually loved covering myself in glitter and a sparkly bow), but my time was cut short because I had an exam I needed to study for that night. So while the other girls left for a celebration dinner, I returned to my apartment. As time went on, this became more and more frequent. I missed meetings, bonding activities, sports events, social gatherings, and soooo much more. Some of my absences were necessary due to school (my academics always and will always come first), but I found myself just…not wanting to go a lot of the other times.
It was when the group chat with the other Spring 2016 girls blew up with fun memories and recounts of the nights or days before that I decided to re-evaluate myself. I wasn’t being fair, not to my sisters nor to myself. The thing was, I had more friends outside of my sorority than I did inside of it, even though these women were supposed to be my “sisters.” And it wasn’t their fault, at all; I was just different, and I didn’t fit into the “srat life”, nor did I have time for it.
My one regret is not dropping out the moment I realized this. Instead, I received my Big and I felt so entirely loved by her that I really REALLY wanted to stay. Not to mention she’d spent so much time and effort, emotionally and financially, spoiling me with goodies and she was just so sweet. This was my final straw, though, because even with all the smiling pictures and sweet gestures, I still didn’t feel a connection with her. I was trying to force something, and I think she was too, and it just wasn’t working.
So, a couple of weeks before initiation, I contacted the sorority’s president and decided to drop out. I finally came to terms with the fact that my priorities were just different than the other girls’, and I didn’t fit in with them. I no longer wanted the sorority or myself to waste time and energy on me when I just wasn’t interested in participating. I felt awful for many reasons: I wanted to feel what they felt, for one thing, about being so close and finding a home in college. I also knew that even though I wasn’t close to any girl specifically, they would still see my departure as them losing a sister. It had to be done, though, and I’m glad I did it sooner rather than later.
I admire sorority girls so much. The time and effort they put into their families, cause, and organization is much more than anyone can imagine- including myself. Not everyone is cut out for it (I sure wasn’t). And no you don’t buy your friends, either. I can honestly say that I witnessed true friendship in my short time in a sorority, true bonds being formed between the girls. Sororities are big, beautiful, growing, sparkly families. However, I’m sure there are girls out there like me who tried, or want to try, rushing and just didn’t feel at home. That’s okay. It’s great to try something new and branch out and meet new people, and it’s okay if it doesn’t work out the way you’d wanted it to.
Figuring out I didn’t belong in a sorority was actually kind of uplifting and enlightening, because it made me realize more about who I am and what I wanted from my college experience. I wanted to spend time with the friends I already had, and joining a sorority would have taken away from that. I wanted to focus on school and academics, and it just wasn’t feasible with all the events a sorority would have needed my help for. I became stronger and more vindictive in the things I wanted from my life, my friends, and myself, and I wouldn’t have ever done so had I not rushed.
To all the srat girls out there: props to you, and I hope you continue to be happy in Greek life. To the ones who tried to be srat but just couldn’t: I feel you, and you’re not alone. And to the girls who think being srat is full of nonsense: how about you try it out and then tell me what you really think?
HCXO <3