In the college-dating scene we have all heard this one question that is on most collegiette’s minds, how did I get friend zoned? Did I misread their signals? The most unsatisfying feeling and part about college is being in this so called “friend zone”. It is referred to, as a platonic relationship where one person desires a romantic relationship while the other does not. We have all done this at least once in our life or been put in this category so the question is, how did we end up here?
How do you know if you are in the friend zone?
As a college student in the dating scene, we all want to know if we are in the friend zone. So how can you tell if the boy you are crushing on only sees you as a friend or if he is too shy to make a move?
He calls or texts you to talk about other girls or for advice. If you are his go-to girl whenever there is something wrong, but not someone he calls to ask out on a date, you are probably in the friend zone.
He gives you a friendly nickname like “buddy” or tells you are just like a sister to him. This is a red flag that you, my friend, are in the world of knowing that you are just his friend.
He is calling to ask you over to watch a marathon of South Park or Family Guy, or even to play COD. This is never a good sign.
He isn’t giving you flirty gestures like trying to hold your hand or cuddle with you when you are hanging out or at a party. This doesn’t always mean that you are just a friend, but it could end up that way if neither of you have ever initiated something more.
Why did we get friend zoned in the first place?
We ask ourselves, how did we get ourselves in this situation? Was it something I said or did? The question on every girls mind is WHY?
We have all done this before; thinking friends first is stepping in the right direction. “I’ll just be their friend for a while and then I’ll make my move when I feel the time is right.” These words are setting you up for a disaster. Hiding your true intentions will only place you into the category of the friend zone.
Sometimes the men are oblivious and they may not know you are interested. If you have never let on that you see them as more than just a friend, they may treat you as one of the guys, therefore, putting you once again into the friend zone category.
He doesn’t approve of your weekend behavior. Are you sloppy on the weekends? Smoke too much? Cause drama or fights? They may find this behavior unappealing. They like going out with you as a friend, but because of your behavior he won’t see you as anything more than that.
The biggest and most frustrating thing about why we end up here is they don’t want to hurt our feelings. They try to let us down in the nicest way possible. In this case, sometimes we may never know why they aren’t interested. You just may not be there type? They just don’t want to risk the friendship that has already been built?
How to avoid being friend zoned in the future?
Being put into the friend zone is no fun. You constantly don’t want to be treated like one of the guys or worse, his sister. Unfortunately, sometimes you can’t avoid being put into the friend zone or hope that it will have a happy ending like movies. I know, it is such a disappointment, but you can try to make sure when the next guy comes along that you will do things differently, where he won’t put you into any other category besides being interested.
Make it clear that this is something you want to pursue. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, but give off flirty signals and gestures. Make it clear that you see him more than just a friend. It’s all about being confident and not coming off as a buddy or one of the guys.