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Honestly, there are few worse things to wake up to then a hangover. Head pounding, walls spinning, the dominoes-pizza-box on the floor realization, all the while scrambling to remember how many drinks you had the night before and what’s left in your bank account after you bought four complete strangers Jäger bombs. You shut your eyes to the beaming and unwelcomed light of the sun pouring through your window and fumble on your bed side table for your phone. You glance at it and then you realize…
There is a worse thing to wake up to.
Drunk texting. As if I wasn’t annoying enough, this had to be added into the mix of ways to continually destroy my life. We all do it (and if you don’t, I in no way know how to relate to/understand you), and I wish, wish, wish so much that I could tell you why. Every weekend I ask myself this. Maybe it’s because I’m too afraid to express the way I feel when I’m sober. Maybe I’m just obnoxious.
But let’s face it; you can’t spell “texting” without “ex.”
In a “how many of you have been personally victimized by Regina George” fashion, if all of us were to be in a room and asked if we have ever drunk texted our exes, a majority of our hands would be raised. And that’s totally reasonable. I mean God, we’re only human and why did they even invent texting in the first place then, right?! And maybe it’s not even your ex. Maybe it’s that friend that you’ve always secretly been into or someone that you just started seeing. These feelings, old or new, leave you scared and vulnerable and vodka-sodas have a way of giving you the confidence you need to find the words you couldn’t otherwise. And in that moment after you hit send, you feel liberated and brave. And then that moment ends.
It’s so hard to get over someone when we are constantly surrounded by their statuses, tweets, and Instagrams. It’s even harder when we feel like all of our problems can be solved through a single text. But take it from me (seriously…); what seems like such a brilliant, Albert-Einstein-esque idea by night, never, ever is in the morning. I get it; it just seems so much easier when you’re fueled by liquid courage. And if it happens, then it happens. It’s okay. Your intentions are good; texting someone twelve times isn’t…
Everybody has their drunken vice whether it’s eating, or crying, or this. Unfortunately, I was lucky enough to get all three in life. But the truth is nothing (and I mean nothing) good comes of it. Chances are, whatever it is that you’re trying to fix, or trying to begin, it is more likely to happen when you (brace yourselves) put your phone away. Realize that you are most likely surrounded by the company of your friends (who are always worth waking up to), and whatever it is you want to say; even though you feel like you have to say it right then, right now, or you might combust from the inside out; you don’t need your phone (or that third mixie) for.