Coming back home after studying abroad is difficult. Maybe it’s difficult because you miss the friends you made while overseas, or maybe it’s hard because you weren’t ready to leave your host country. Unfortunately for most of us, studying abroad is a step towards getting our college degrees, and we must come back home to finish those degrees and get our diplomas. Therefore, staying abroad is not usually an option and we have to find a way to readjust to life back home.
Readjusting is sometimes easier said than done. If you’re anything like me, after coming home all you can daydream about is being back overseas. So-called “real life” feels surreal, and the life you led overseas seems more real than the life you have returned to at home. Add in some reverse culture shock on top of this and adjusting to life back home feels impossible. The shock of walking into a store like Walmart or Target, of having to drive everywhere again, and if you were in a country where you were speaking a different language, of remembering to speak in English can really throw you. When I came home after studying in France, it took me several weeks before I stopped beginning to start conversations with people in French instead of English. And I grumble a lot more about having to drive places after experiencing the ease of public transportation, walking and biking everywhere for so long. This kind of culture shock can be difficult to process. How is it possible to feel a bit like a stranger in your own country? Remember, your experiences changed you, so feeling a little out place as you negotiate how to incorporate these changes into your routine at home is normal.
The biggest obstacle is the real depression triggered by coming home. The “cry all the time” depression. The “endlessly asking yourself why you ever came home” depression. This is not something that every person experiences, and some people may experience this more or less severely than others. For some people, it may feel overwhelming, and for others, it may simply be that some experiences trigger memories that make them temporarily sad. For me, this is the sadness that made it difficult to look through any of the pictures I took while overseas when I came home (save for showing them to my family once or twice) because looking at them made me cry. The only way to get over this sadness? Throw yourself back into life at home. Get out of bed (if you’ve been hiding away there) and go out with friends and family. It gets better (or so I’ve been told)! Instead of being sad about the fact that you had to leave, be grateful that you had the opportunity to experience another country and another culture. So many people never have that chance.
Something else that’s difficult about coming home after the crazy, incredible adventure you had while overseas? Finding people with whom you can share your experiences. Many people find that after they come home from studying abroad, they cannot talk about their time overseas too often without their friends and family getting annoyed at hearing about it. People become jealous or annoyed, and then you have no outlet to discuss all the things you want to talk about. It’s wonderful to be able to share your experiences with friends because you want them to understand how you changed with your time overseas. Unfortunately, in reality, it is not always possible to share everything with them. This is hard because it can feel like everyone wants to forget that you were gone and go back to how things were before…but for you, this is impossible. Talk to the people you can about your time away, and don’t let yourself feel upset or discouraged that not everyone wants to hear about it. A great way to deal with this problem is to keep in touch with people from your school who went abroad with you, because you’ll always be able to share stories with them.
What’s the take away from all of this? Well, that coming home after a life-changing experience is challenging. To make it less challenging, try and incorporate some of the things that you loved about living overseas into your life at home. That way, you can combine both lifestyles and hopefully have an easier time getting used to home again. Cook some of your favorite meals from the country you were in. Read a book or watch a TV show in the language you were studying. Keep in contact with the people you met while abroad. Make plans to go back and visit, and in the meantime, enjoy being back at school with your friends. Good luck!