Let’s face it: college is stressful. Even though our parents and siblings still in highschool joke about how we “only have 2 or 3 classes a day” and how laid back it is… somehow it finds a way to be stressful, and we find ourselves wondering where all of the time goes. With school work, a part time job, social life, extracurricular activities, Greek life, a sports team or whatever you may be involved in, it’s easy to lose track of things. The world of college kind of sweeps you up and puts your interests in places other than where they were before. It happens: you lose track of homework, you lose track of the clothes you lend out to people, you lose track of the people you knew in highschool, and before you know it, you may even lose track of yourself. Now I’m not saying you will make a 180, change every view and opinion you’ve ever had and completely disregard the person you were before, just that college has and will change people. As we stumble out of our teenage years (finally) and into our 20’s, things will start to change. This as normal, and even though your friends at home and parents may notice a difference in you, it is all part of growing up. Of course this doesn’t simply happen overnight. We do not go to bed a naïve freshly graduated highschool senior and wake up the person we are meant to be, it’s a process. Sometimes going to college means losing the person you were, only to find a new version of yourself. Like I said, it’s all part of growing up. Here are 5 stages along the journey of losing yourself, and finding it again.
1) The “I hope it’s everything I’ve imagined” mindset on move-in day freshmen year
I think we can all remember this. Pulling up to your dorm with your parents in an over-packed car, anticipating the future ahead. Being so sure this is everything you want, and that this will be the best year of your life. Being excited to start your major, to make new friends who will be just like your best friends in high school, to go to your first frat party, and to finally live on your own. At this stage the world was yours, and you knew exactly what you wanted to do with it.
2) Realizing there is so much more out there than you thought
Coming from high school, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the people who go to your school and the town you live in. Sometimes it feels like there isn’t a bigger world out there. You feel like your high school best friends will always be your best friends and that in a sense, things will never change. College changes this perspective, and after a few weeks, you find yourself being exposed to so much more. You realize no one cares about your high school and all of the petty drama that went on there. This shift in perspective is frightening but also liberating, realizing that there is so much that can be done with your life, endless possibilities.
3) Getting swept away
A lot of people experience this… at one point or another. After the realization of all the world has to offer, our desire to experiment comes into play. These are the times when you will get into a new group of people, go out too much during the week, or get involved with a guy you really know you shouldn’t. Your fashion sense, taste in music, or the way you act and talk might change. For a while it will seem completely normal because you are discovering this whole new side to yourself, and you finally have the chance to be anyone you want to be. This is the time period where choices are made, and they can be looked at mistakes, or building blocks.
4) Not knowing the person you’ve become
Perhaps the scariest of all is when reality hits you. When you finally realize that the choices you have been making are not what you want your life to be. Sometimes it kind of just comes at you all at once, like a wave. All of those choices and mistakes you’ve made that you disregarded as normal for so long will hit you. The schoolwork you put off will catch up to you, and that guy who you knew in the pit of your stomach was all wrong for you, will prove to be exactly who everyone said he was. With these scary realizations may come disappointment and maybe even loneliness. You may question the person you have become, and wonder how you got to this place. You may reminisce on when everything seemed so simple and you had it all figured out. The fact of the matter is, though, some people need to experience this stage, because in order to grow, sometimes you must learn from the choices you have made.
5) Being okay with not having everything all figured out
Although you will not return to stage one, of having your life mapped out and knowing exactly what you want, this is actually a good thing. At this stage you no longer are naïve enough to believe that everything will go according to plan, and that you know exactly what you want at such a young age. You are progressing towards your goals and dreams for what you want out of life. You have come to terms with the mistakes you have made, and are willing to grow from them. On top of this, you have grown up from the sheltered girl who did not see past her school or town, and are aware of all of the things that life has to offer. You have experienced the mistakes and may have lost yourself along the way, but now is the fun part. No matter what it took to get you to this point, you are happy with where you are: knowing that you do not have all of the answers, just taking each day, and progressing towards your future. You realize that there will always be imperfections and things that may go wrong along the way, but you have grown enough to deal with them more efficiently. You realize that everything you went through was just a part of growing up and becoming an adult, and although you are not completely there yet, you are prepared to tackle life as is comes, one day at a time.