If you have considered considering or planning on getting a breast reduction or have a friend who is, this is for you.
I am five feet tall and until three weeks ago, I had enormous boobs. We’re talking 38 DDD or whatever the next size up is, and there was nothing fun about it. They didn’t grow to be that big until I was in college, but I’ve always had relatively large boobs. I went to catholic high school where we had to wear frumpy oxford shirts every day, and I was still referred to as “the girl with the boobs”. When I got to college and had to pick out my own outfits every day I didn’t know what to do with them; I felt insecure and self conscious, so I kept them covered up for the most part. I started to consider the possibility of a breast reduction toward the end of my freshman year and even though it took me two and a half years to go through with it, it turned out to be the best decision I’ve ever made.
Getting a reduction has been one of the most empowering, liberating, and exciting experiences of my life, but I faced a lot of negativity along the way. I wish that I could have had someone to be an advocate for me along the way, and I’ve recently bonded with some other girls who have experienced the same things. I wanted to write this for anyone going through the process so that they know that there are people out there who support them. After feeling put down by some of the comments that i received before getting my surgery, people suggested that I just keep it to myself, but I didn’t want to and you shouldn’t either! This was such an exciting time in my life and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. So, instead of telling other people going through the same thing to keep it to themselves, I decided to tell other people the things that we don’t want to hear.
1. “But you’re so lucky! I would do anything for big boobs, I can’t believe you’re giving them up…that’s like a slap in God’s face”
To the person saying this: First of all, absolutely do not bring religion or God into my decision to get a breast reduction. While you (understandably) may be yearning for large perky supermodel boobs, I’m standing here looking at my saggy lumps in the mirror in complete frustration. They aren’t cute and haven’t been perky since 2009. The grass is always greener on the other side; everyone wants what they can’t or don’t have. If someone is choosing to go under the knife for a major surgery to make their boobs smaller, it’s not because they just feel like doing it, it’s because they have serious issues (mental or physical) with the size of their boobs. Recognize that everyone is insecure about something and just be supportive. Your boobs aren’t gonna get bigger by shaming someone else for their choice to get a reduction, and your input probably (definitely) won’t change their mind.
To the person receiving this message: You, too, need to keep in mind that everyone is insecure about something whether it’s their sucky nail beds, weird hairline, or bad morning breath. Rise above the negative feedback and own your choice to go through with this. While many people out there are judging you for your choice to get rid of something that, in their mind, is a ‘gift’ just know that there are people out there who have also had meltdowns in dressing rooms when they couldn’t find anything that fit right, who have also felt insecure about stretch marks and veins, and who have hated this part of their body that controls so much of what they do and feel. We support you and are cheering you on.
2. “Can I just go into surgery with you and have them put whatever they take out into my boobs?”
To the person saying this: LOL, haven’t heard that one before, how did you come up with that? Yes, that makes perfect sense! I totally understand why you would want the fatty tissue that they’re taking out of my body put into yours, I’m sure it’ll end up looking really great! If I had a dollar for everyone who asked me this question, I would probably be able to fully fund my own breast reduction. While your intentions may be humorous when making this comment, it’s just downright annoying. If your relationship with your boobs is anything like mine, it’s filled with loathing and hatred. Sorry to sound like a total Debbie, but that’s how I ended up feeling, and I know girls who have felt the same. I really hated them, and hearing people make jokes about how they want to take the contents of my boobs and put them into their own bodies is the last thing I needed while going through this process. If you really want to increase your breast size go buy a Bombshell bra from VS, Kylie Jenner wears them and people really think she got implants.
To the person receiving this message: You have two options here. Option 1 would be to fake smile and laugh with the person knowing that this question comes with the territory. Option 2 would be to straight up ignore these comments, which is what I have learned to do. You can’t let comments from other people get you down, because this is completely for you and you only.
3. “I can’t believe you would consider doing this when it might impact your ability to breast feed”
To the person saying this: As someone who chose to do this earlier on in my life prior to having kids (22 years old), I got comments like this a LOT. Regardless of the condition of my breasts due to the surgery, I may not have even wanted to breast feed anyways. Much like my decision to get the reduction, my (and everyone else’s) future decision to breast feed is personal. I can’t even begin to imagine how frustrating it is to get random input on the matter as a woman who is preparing to have a baby, but being a 22 year old breast reduction patient is just infuriating when it comes to this. FYI, there are multiple ways of doing the surgery, some more invasive than others, and if I really wanted to get down to the size I wanted (a small B cup) I could have. I opted for the less invasive procedure in case I change my mind in the future and decide that breast feeding is important to me. It’s also inappropriate to unwarrantedly bring this up because to make this judgment in regard to a breast reduction is to automatically assume that they plan on being a mother, and that as a mother they are going to breastfeed. We need to support others and build each other up, and whether it’s about a breast reduction or the choice to breast feed, one of the most important things we need is support, even if you don’t agree with other women’s choices.
To the person receiving this: While it is completely inappropriate for others to make comments on your choice/ability to breast feed in the future, this is something to take into consideration while making a decision and planning for your surgery. Talk to your doctor about possible risks and understand that there are other reasons why someone might not be able to breast feed anyways, so don’t let this factor turn you away unless you really feel strongly about it and have put a lot of thought into it. If your doctor tells you that the less invasive surgery won’t get you close to the size that you want, don’t be ashamed of choosing to go with the more invasive procedure just because of the risk that you would lose the ability to breast feed in the future. I made the decision that it was important to me to keep the possibility open for the future, but I 100% understand and support the decision to go with the more invasive procedure if it means that you will end up happier with yourself in the long run.
4. *concerned tone* What does your boyfriend think about this? *eyebrow raise*
To the person saying this: Oh he was totally cool with it, and I made sure to get his permission before going through with it. NAWT! My boyfriend is incredibly supportive, thanks for asking, but I wasn’t too concerned with his opinion on the matter. This comment actually started to bother him too because he felt like people were implying that he would have been against it, when all he wanted was for me to be happy. I get why people ask this, and it really doesn’t even make me that mad, but I just don’t feel like it’s necessary. And when people would ask me this question before asking me how I felt about it, that’s when it would really bother me.
To the person receiving this: Do not base your decision on what your s/o thinks because this should be for you. I’m lucky to have someone who supports my choices and who was happy to see me regain confidence by doing this. I don’t want people who are going through this process to feel like they have to defend their choice or explain themselves, but if you’re finding that the people closest to you are having trouble being supportive, I would just sit them down and tell them how you feel and ask for their support without judgment or objection. If they can’t give you the support, then just don’t talk to them about it.
5. Aren’t you worried about scars?
To the person saying this: why why why why why are you asking this question? If I feel that my boobs are causing me enough pain and suffering that I’m willing to go under the knife, don’t you think that I’ve considered the scar factor and am okay with it? Some people really are curious about this, but a lot of the time I felt like this question was being asked just to make me feel bad for making this choice. While it’s impossible to understand the struggle of having huge boobs if you don’t have them, the scars from the surgery are absolutely nothing compared to the stretch marks, the under-boob lines, and the painful weight that they put on your neck and back. You’re doing no good by asking this question, so if you’re that concerned then maybe you could help your friend by doing some research on the best oils and cremes for post-op scarring instead.
To the person receiving this: you’re probably brushing this comment off just like I did because, like I said above, the scarring is absolutely nothing compared to what your huge boobs have put you through. If you are concerned about this, then talk to your doctor and see what they recommend to reduce scarring. But really, we should all look to Ariel Winter for inspiration because she owns her breast reduction scars like a boss.
To anyone going through this, I want you to know that you’re not alone and that I support you. Whether you’re in the early stages of thinking about it or are actually going through it, enjoy this wonderful thing that you’re doing for yourself. And to anyone who knows someone going through this, I really hope that you can use this article to be the best supportive friend possible.