If you asked me my freshman year of college where I saw my life going, the answer would be simple. I would tell you that I was going to marry my high school sweetheart, I would live in the town I grew up in and probably expect to live two houses down from my parents. I would tell you that I expected a ring on my finger before I graduated college and every weekend for the next four years would be spent driving to my boyfriend’s school. Oh, how time is such a funny thing.
Time has a way of changing you.
If you knew me in high school (I’m sorry) and if you didn’t know me in high school (you’re lucky). Relationships have a way of making you blind to the world. You don’t really know all you lose until it’s already too late. I’m not talking about losing your high school sweetheart and thinking it’s the end of the world, I’m talking about all the friends you pushed aside because you figured they would always be there. Looking back on it, I could have done one hundred things differently but this isn’t about relationships. This is about how you don’t have to be who you once were. Change isn’t a bad thing.
Breaking up is a scary thing. You don’t really know who you are because you were always known as someone else’s half. You start over, essentially. It’s a great thing if you think about it. You get to become the person you’ve always wanted to be. You finally get to have those girls’ nights without worrying about what your boy is doing. You get to go out without feeling guilty (or making your significant other feel guilty) for having a good time. You only have to pay for yourself. Party of one? Go ahead and treat yourself! Go to the bar and stay there until the lights come on. Make yourself happy.
Being the ex-girlfriend isn’t a bad thing. There’s something special knowing that you made someone else a better person. You may have had the best boyfriend, you may have had a mediocre boyfriend, or honestly you maybe haven’t even had a boyfriend but you help form them into the man they will be. As much as you don’t want to admit it, you really do hope that he treats the next girl better. But that’s enough about him, what about you? You now know what you’re capable of. You know how much you are willing to give to someone else. More importantly, you know what you deserve. Sometimes relationships end because they’re toxic, sometimes they end because there’s too much fighting, sometimes they end because it’s just not your number one priority and sometimes they end just because there’s nothing there anymore. THAT’S OK! Don’t sit there and act like it’s all ok because I promise you, on the other side the grass is way greener. The grass is healthier, care-free and full of potential to grow as high as the stars.
With time, I changed. I became the person I have always wanted to be. I now know that no boy will ever be worth blowing off a girl’s night. Time makes you realize that your friends are the ones that will be there for you at the end of the day. There comes a time when you need to realize that you need to live for yourself.
If you were to ask me now where I see myself going in life, I don’t really know what I would tell you. Maybe I’ll be half way across the world. Maybe I’ll be sharing stories of how college was the best four years I’ve ever had because those were the first four years I truly started living for myself. I don’t really know where I’ll be, but I’ll always know to put myself first.