Following Your New Semester Resolutions Without The Lindsay Lohan Complex

If you are anything like me, two weeks before the Spring semester began you probably started daydreaming about the “new you” that would grace the campus as we’re back at it for another semester. You have set goals you wish to accomplish and an attitude you wish to obtain. This reinvented self is going to get a 4.0 GPA, join every club you meant to join since the first week freshman year, go out every weekend, loose weight, quit wearing sweats to class--the possibilities are endless. But overall, you want to improve yourself; you want to look and feel better about yourself.

While all of these achievements and qualities are excellent, it is easier said than done. I moved back to Amherst after every break since freshman year with a lengthy mental list (going into junior year I actually made a word document list) of all the accomplishments I would make. Some were the typical “I’m going to get at least a 3.7 gpa this time” or “I’m going to join the outing club, a sorority, concert band, and an intramural sports team,” and don’t forget, “I’m going to lose 20 pounds by April.” These are goals that we all have because we all want to get good grades and have our hard work pay off, we all want to be involved on campus and busy, and of course, as women, we are unfortunately often wanting to change something about our bodies. It’s good to have goals and it’s great to want to be your best. However, there is one semester of goals that stands out the most to me. (Surprisingly it’s not the word document semester).

The summer going into my sophomore year at UMass, I talked endlessly to my family and friends about the new and improved Lisa they were going to see. This new lady was going to have all new friends, a changed major in communication disorders (that only lasted one semester and it was back to journalism!), a 4.0 GPA (didn’t happen), and all new activities. I was in the UMass Marching Band for my first year at UMass and I planned to continue but I was also going to pledge a sorority, join community service clubs, work out and diet hardcore, and go out every single weekend with all these new people that I would miraculously meet my first week back. I had a specific idea in mind of what my new life would feel and look like.

My parents were worried. You’d think they would be happy and proud of me wanting to get more involved on campus, get good grades, and be lookin’ fine—but they were the first to realize there was more going on than a few goals. My friends would just nod their heads. At first, it was a mere conversation piece. Yet by August, a week before heading back to school I had bought all designer clothes, researched endlessly all the sororities on campus, signed up for clubs ALREADY (I’ve always been an eager beaver) and switched my major. You’re thinking big whoop, right? Well, yes and no. The problem was that my attitude began to change. I started looking down on the people who had been there for me through thick and thin. I began to ignore my family and closest friends. It wasn’t because I had any beef with them; it was because I was so focused on becoming this new person I wanted to be that I phased the rest out.

A month into the semester it came clear to me what was going on. I had lost myself in my goals. I realized that I went beyond just wanting to meet new people, be more successful, and busy. I wanted these things because I wanted to be more satisfied with myself and my college experience but I soon realized what a moody mess I had become! I was staying up until five A.M. studying for a major that was so not right for me, working out rather than hanging out with friends, and for the first time in my life spending too much time on what I and other people looked like rather than the real stuff. I was so tired, stressed, and unhappy that I couldn’t enjoy the new friends I did meet and the sorority I pledged. I remember thinking that this must be how Lindsay Lohan felt in Mean Girls when she realized she got way in over her head and became someone she’s not.

The moral of the story is you should strive to be the best woman you can but don’t let the image and idea of “being the best” take over you. All people are dynamic characters but find ways to tweak or step-up your lifestyle, talents, social life, or academics rather than change YOU.

We’ve been back on campus for a week now. Think of how you can make your “New Semester Resolutions” more reasonable and manageable so you don’t gain the contrary: stress and pain. Think of the most important changes you see fit to your college career. For instance, if you’re unhappy with grades you got last semester but are invited to every social outing, make a plan to focus on your studies more! Tell yourself you are going to go to library more and that you aren’t going to go out until your work is done. If you had a hard time making friends or are looking to meet new people, branch out and join some clubs. Find one or two clubs or activities that are right for you and get real into it, rather than a handful that you wind up not having time for. If you really need to do it all, take it slow. I’m sure your mom has told you, “Rome wasn’t built in a day” and neither are us college women!