I am convinced that I experienced the strangest, most unanticipated Valentines Day in the history of the celebration of this holiday!
Just like any single lady I was looking forward to celebrating my single status with my girlfriends, but boy was I in for a treat.
Earlier that week, prior to Valentines Day, I received a message from a guy FRIEND asking me to be his valentine. So I respond (thinking how corny, but adorable) like of course! Little did I know, this guy had some crazy plan beneath what seemed to be a sweet and innocent gesture.
Days go on, by now its Thursday (I had received the previous message Monday) and this guy tells me he is going to come visit me. I’m thinking what in the world! He’s not asking to visit me, he’s telling my he is going to visit me!
I’m freaking out – typing out texts, erasing it, typing some more, pausing to drink some water – because he is not even considering asking.
Here’s the juicy part. This guy lives EIGHT hours from me. Not two, not even three….but eight. So I’m trying to think logically and clearly before I respond ripping this guy a new one. He is aware of how busy I am (I’m one of those people who basically never sleeps) and he hasn’t even double-checked to see what I’ve got going on. I finally chill out and go on to explain to him that I have work this weekend, a full day of plans with my girls. On top of all that my god sister had planned to come visit me Sunday so that we could spend lovers day doing single girl things like making baked goodies and crying to Rom-Coms.
After I explain all that to him he goes on to tell me he’ll just spend time with me when I’m free. Which makes me completely uncomfortable and gives me like major anxiety because I want to be a good host. Good hosts block out time for their guests who have traveled a long way. Definitely a southern hospitality kind of thing – totally can tell this guy is from the east coast – but it’s just my personality. I would hope someone would consider my visit the same way.
So Friday arrives and this guy missed like all my hints of telling him to visit another time. He literally hits the road without my address and tells me when he’s close to finally ask for it.
Here’s the low down about how I even know this guy. I met him last year during Spring Break in Panama City Beach, Florida. He’s been really persistent about keeping in contact with me where as I hardly acknowledge his calls, SnapChats, texts, Facebook messages and Instagram comments. Yes, he uses all platforms of communication because as I said, I hardly respond. I consider him a friend. I’ve even talked to him about my last relationship, which began a little after Panama and ended before the New Year. He’s completely aware about my relationship, and in fact I’ve even shared some details about it just venting one time. So I thought it was totally obvi that we were just friends.
Upon his arrival Friday afternoon, I tell him about my discomfort with him showing up like this because of my busy schedule. He stresses to me how he understands but he truly needed a break from his school and life.
We spent the first night out bowling with some friends, which was super fun. Once we get back to the apartment it gets super awk because he thinks we’re going to both sleep in my bed (at this point if the friend zone message wasn’t clear I was doomed trying to make it clear). I get in the shower and he decides to pass out on the bed after I told him to grab a blanket and make himself cozy on the couch. So frazzled, I just made a boundary of pillows and went to sleep.
The next day he goes to work with me (I mean where else was he supposed to go, he doesn’t know anyone here). Later that night was my Valentines dinner with my girls. Every year we pick a fancy local restaurant to eat at, dress up and follow dinner by a gift exchange – we don’t do birthday or Christmas gifts so this is our substitute. Meanwhile, my surprise visitor spent this time at the bar by his lonely. By the end of the night, to avoid the awkward pillow fort, I suggest we watch a movie in the living room. I planned to make sure he falls asleep out there so I can sneak into my comfy bed unbothered.
But before I can even go to sleep he tells me he has to make a run to his car. I’m panicking because it’s 4 in the morning and I knew what was up….he was going to give me some gifts he had hinted about during the past few days. I told him repeatedly not to bother getting me anything – I knew it would just make things more awkward for me. To deter from dealing with it all, during his run to the car (which took five-ever) I did my best to fall asleep on the couch. I heard him come in and try to wake me up but I just continued to fake sleep.
The following morning I wake up to a table full of pink roses, a teddy bear, a personal card and a Sephora gift card. So excited about my gifts card (he knows my weaknesses) I didn’t even think twice about accepting the gifts and how that would make him assume we are more than friends.
Before he hits the road my sister arrives. She instantly gets all my attention since I don’t get to see her often. He had planned to leave before her arrival so that we could spend time together but it seemed like he was over staying his welcome. I kept hinting how he should hit the road before snow hits and to get back home to prepare for the week ahead. Dragging his behind, he finally decides to pack his things, I give him a church hug and send him on his way.
Oh but wait! I forgot to mention how he tried to give me this random t-shirt before leaving! I was extremely appalled because him and I just discussed how my school gives so many free tees to students and I never wear them, in fact I hate t-shirts. So as he’s handing me this shirt I look at him with the most evident resting bitch face. He tells me he won it at his intermural game and he wanted me to have it. I told him to take that back home. I literally can no longer hold my tongue and tell him straight up I don’t want this t-shirt, how dare you even think that’s a good idea, take it with you.
Finally he leaves, sending me this text all in his feels. By this time I’m super annoyed with his sappy emotions and just his presence all around. I let him know that all in all, I appreciate his attempts and everything but it was way too much for me at the time. Showing up out of the blue and the gifts was a lot for me to take in. I let him know that I respect his feelings as should he respect mine. That at this time I’m not interested in a relationship and I do not want to lead him on.
Since telling him, it hasn’t really been made clear or set in with him. I’ve taken it upon myself to mute his contact and block him from most of my social accounts.
Strange or what? I’m still trying to figure out why none of my actions or hints stopped him. I can see most girls thinking that to be a super cute weekend but honestly it was super stressful and I sort of wish it didn’t happen. The lesson here is to be careful what you wish for ladies!
Photo Credits:
http://valentinesdayimages-2016.com, Sydney E. Baker