After a long week, my girlfriends and I decided to hook up after I got off the clock. We’re kickin’ it and catching up from the weeks madness. Not too long after, we found ourselves needing something to do. So we decide to hit the streets of Lexington to explore what felt like uncharted territory.
None of us had ever been to sex stores before.
So all the ladies pile into Blackberry (my car) and we head to the strip. We’re all pumped up, excited to take on this experience together!
We finally arrive and ended up parking in the alley next to the gentlemen’s club (creepy scene numero uno)!
The first store we enter was the one with the most lights on. Immediately, we see women’s lingerie, wigs, crazy heels, an abundance of toys, lubes, bachelorette party supplies and of course the usual books and video supply. Like kids in a candy shop we walk through owing and awing: “Look at this”, “OMG What in the world”, “How is this even physically possible”. What was seemingly unusual was this tiny black door with a spray painted sign that read “$1 Entry for show” (creepy scene numero dos). None of us were brave enough to enter at our own risk. On to the next store we went.
The second store was for sure the creepiest of them all! First upon entry, you walk into this tiny hallway where you have to enter another door just to get into the store. There were no signs illustrating this so we were super confused and could hardly focus on entering because of some foul smell. It smelt almost like that skating rink dump you spent your Saturday nights at in middle school; a mix of cigarette smoke, sweaty feet and mildew. Finally, we muster up the courage to get past the funk and into the actual store. We are first greeted by a white male with shaggy hair. As he’s checking our ID’s and making super awk convo, we all can’t seem to get past the fact that behind him plays 4 different TV screens full of sex (creepy scene numero tres). Super casual, NBD (keep in mind these TV’s were before the flat screen revolution). After looking around, we realize that every package is covered in a film of dust. Uninterested and freaked out by all that it took to enter the place, we head out.
Shaken up a little, but that didn’t stop us from going to the next store which seemed a lot more welcoming. It’s entrance was filled with lingerie (from like the 90’s). At least at the counter was a female counterpart. This store also had one of those doors that opened up into the underworld of adult entertainment. Once entering, there was an abundance of S&M supplies, sex games, magazines, videos, toys and the usual oils. What interested us the most were the in-home stripping poles. We all decided that was the best toy of them all. Again, just like the other stores, this one was very much outdated. Films of dusted covered most everything and about half of the oils/rubs were expired.
On our way to our fourth and final store, we realized that all this time we had been at the Walmart’s of sex stores. This was indeed the Von Maur of sex stores, crème de la crème of them all. In big bright red letters, the sign read “Hustler Hollywood”. It actually looked like people from this century shopped here. It was literally the adult entertainment Holy Grail.
Upon entering, we immediately notice the fancy, silky and see-through robes (we admired all the not-so-90’s lingerie). But this was only the beginning, once entering the gateway to the sex toys, we were met by the toys of this century! They were pretty, in all shapes and shades of bright colors, sparkly and smooth. Nothing at all like what we had seen. In fact, many of the toys didn’t look like sex toys (genitals) at all. They were very aesthetic. With many of them on display, we spent a good 30 minutes playing with them all. They even had toys that would sync with an app using Bluetooth. We were pretty impressed.
After our adventure, we headed home feeling like we had conquered our mission!
That following week my girlfriend and I finally purchased a sex toy that resembled those we’d seen at Hustler Hollywood but from Cirillas.
Seriously ladies, self love is so important (an article for another time). Apart of that is recognizing that your body is beautiful! So in honor of self love here is my recommendation for first timers like myself.
“Wild Butterfly” can be ordered online at evolvednovelties.com
Photo Credit:
Sydney E. Baker