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When You See Your Ex

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UIC chapter.

It’s always awkward to meet or see your ex again. It could be that it’s been weeks or months or even years, since you last saw them. It doesn’t matter if your ex is your friend or that you’re on good terms because there’s still a nostalgic feeling or sometimes just awkward feeling when you see an ex. I’m not saying that you can’t be friends with your ex because sometimes it happens to be a mutual break up, where it wasn’t a good fit, but you both are on good terms.  This is a rare case and most break ups are bad, well at least mine were always bad. Your ex doesn’t even need to be someone you were dating either, since it can always be someone you were friends with benefits with or a past hook up. Regardless, when I saw any of my exes whether it’s at Target, Starbucks, or just walking down the street, it’s awkward because what do you say to that person.

Sometimes, there isn’t anything to say if things ended on a bad note whether it was on your part or theirs. This past summer, my ex, for who knows why, decided to message me. I know this has happened to you guys at least once where a blast from the past tries to slide back into your life. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t remove my exes from social media because I’m the type of person that likes for my ex to know that I’m doing great and still living my life. You guys probably think I’m crazy for it. My ex asked how I was doing and asked if I wanted to meet up, since he would be in the area. The thoughts in my head were flying because I haven’t seen this man in 3 years after our horrible break up. So, the question I had to answer for myself was: Do I want to see him after 3 years?

I decided to meet him for Starbucks in my neighborhood. I saw him not because I missed him, but because I wanted to see if anything changed for him and if he actually grew up and got his life together. The coffee meet up was awkward, which I expected. He still looked like the same boy I broke up with before college. The memories came back, but it didn’t make me want to get back with him. He was the first boy I said I love you to so, of course, I felt nostalgic. Things did fall into place as if we never left high school after a little bit. High school was the key word that proved to me he hadn’t changed. He was still a mess with his life not together. He still had big dreams, but never follow through with anything. He is still in our hometown and still the same boy I broke up with. There was no growth for him.

That was the difference between us. I grew up and changed in those 3 years, since we last saw each other. He didn’t and messaged me after breaking up with his girlfriend of 2 years, which I learned about the break up during coffee, as if I was going to be the rebound and that this meet up was the key for us to get back together. Yes, he kissed me at the end of the meetup. I felt nothing and felt awkward. I don’t have any regrets meeting him because it taught me that sometimes meeting your ex reaffirms why they weren’t a good fit. If you see your ex on the street, or if he decides to message you, do what’s best for you. You can follow my lead, and if you see them on the street, give the awkward smile because why have that negativity or even meet with them for coffee if you need questions answered. As I said, in the beginning, seeing your ex is always awkward, but you ended things for a reason and continue to succeed in whatever you do without them.

Hi I'm Aeja! Junior at UIC and a Pre Nursing Major. I try to write what inspires me, so I hope you enjoy my articles!
UIC Contributor.