The key to living a free life in which you can be yourself is by having autonomy. Listen, when I tell you that you will come across a time in your life where you find yourself in a paradox of feeling trapped and inadequate, that would make you want to lock yourself in your room and never come out again. But, what keeps you feeling bad is wanting to be “better” for others, yourself or both. You would need to have an emotional rechargeable battery for the days, where you literally are too deep in the rabbit hole to try to crawl your way out. Having autonomy is when you are able to govern over your own life and feel like you are not an outside spectator to your own life. You will feel like you are living the life of your favorite character from your favorite television series. You would be feeling comfortable with yourself and confident enough to accomplish your goals.
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People will start pulling in every direction and will be feeling hopeless. You don’t feel satisfied. Solitude will offer you a healthy form of self-restoration. I must admit that, at first, I was a bit confused about what solitude was and if it was a good thing. Looking at solitude from an objective point of view, you might think that it is basically something people who “quit” do. Distancing yourself from the world can be seen as you being ashamed of yourself, hating life, being depressed, or confused. Almost as if you had no other choice, but to put yourself in a situation where you are alone. However, solitude is a choice, and it does not mean that you have forever abandon society or something like that. See it as a personal form of recreation. After you are done having your quiet time, you can go back to being your loud or ratchet self again. (no shame)
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Seeking solitude isn’t just something for introverts. It is something vital for everyone. Though it is tricky finding out whether or not you need solitude, you can always find out through reflection. Take me, for example, I am somewhere in the middle of the introvert and extrovert spectrum with a slight inclination to the more reserved side. I had a period of depression where I feel out of energy regardless of what I do. I find myself constantly feeling down and not knowing what to do. I kept thinking “I have to go out more,” or “I probably am feeling down because I feel bad about myself or something.” I didn’t know what I was doing wrong, but then I realized I was feeling depressed because of the anxiety I felt from the social/peer pressure. I notice how people don’t contact you just to talk (normally) or to just relax unless you know them well. But, for someone who is just getting used to a new environment or social atmosphere, it’s nerve-racking and terrifying. I felt as if I only ever heard of people doing something together if they went out to get drinks (shots) or something related. You might say “you don’t have to do the same,” or “maybe it not your thing,” but that’s not the point. The only thing breaking the silence is that and for people who are reserved/shy it makes me feel like I don’t have any other option if that makes sense. But, of course, that isn’t the reality of things.
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I am sure you have heard the verse “you are never alone,” and this goes hand in hand with solitude. Being lonely against your wishes because of circumstances sucks. However, when we are in the worst state we have ever been in our lives, we are forced to face our biggest fears. We essentially fight with ourselves and get fed up with running away. Solitude offers us the space to be honest with ourselves and gives us the understanding of who you are. You will feel like you let yourself down, but once you overcome your fears and understand more about yourself, you will come out a better version of you.