Growing up in a household with three women and ONE bathroom, I have sixteen years of experience with this challenging topic of gender co-habitation as credentials for this piece. But yes, domestic harmony between male and female roommates, whether it’s romantic or platonic, can be achieved if the five following points are remembered and followed exactly:
1. Dividing Responsibilities: Determine Who Does What
Whether it’s a boyfriend, guy friends, or more distant roommates, the simple fact of the matter is that us guys need a little help with this, and that means being assigned things to do. Otherwise, we only do things for ourselves—more often than not, after a while we tend to fall into our own little orbits; we’re kind of selfish like that.
So once the place is secured, or we move in, work with us to figure out who will do dishes, clean floors, pay what fraction of the rent or utilities, vacuum, do yard work, or dust valuables. Then we’ll have an easier time accomplishing these things, and everyone will be happier.
And not to brag or anything, but some female roommates seem to really like having guys around to do traditional male roles—so keep plenty of duct tape and caulk around and we’re good to go!
2. Boundaries! Forgo Drama if Possible
Everyone needs their silence, but especially for students’ busy schedules, quiet time for studying, and especially sleep, is immensely important. Therefore, acceptable periods for visiting with friends, or privacy with significant others, should be predetermined and respected—once again, we’re kind of inconsiderate sometimes and need rules. This will prevent so much bad drama and make everyone’s lives easier.
3. Communication! Make it CLEAR and CON-CISE
The first two points are useless unless communication occurs and terms are recorded about everything. This will also limit petty arguments later. And remember, while the content of this communication is important, the CLARITY is CRUCIAL. Because we’re guys, we don’t always remember terribly well, or pay attention—not that you’re boring us or anything, that’s just how we are. We just kind of have this habit of…drifting off, and…daydreaming…and… I know on many occasions my mother, sister, or female co-workers have told me something, then after I’ve looked them straight in the eye the entire conversation, I say, “uh-huh…okay”—then totally forget it. The info just flies through my ear canals like a flock of…what was I talking about?
For more help, post several copies of the written terms wherever necessary: the fridge, cabinet, bathroom mirror, what have you. As long as you put the information everywhere for everyone to see, nobody can claim they know nothing, then blame and guilt can be more easily dealt.
4. Accidental Nudity
At some point with several people sharing space, undressing and showering as we all (I hope) do, glimpses of penii (the correct plural) or breasts might happen—but we all know what they look like so don’t be too shocked. That just makes it weirder and it’s funnier when those occurrences are completely nonchalant.
On that note: if anything, take the awkwardness and amuse yourself! If you see some manhood flappin’ around, point and laugh! Or simply make comments to ignite our self-consciousness. It’ll sure make us swallow our pride and take out the garbage.
And with a nip slip, or further unintentional exposure, make the most of it! Amuse yourself again by remembering you’ve tortured some poor guy with a look of what he can’t have—especially if it’s your boyfriend and after three months he still hasn’t re-shellacked the bookcase!
5. Bathrooms
Need I say more? If at all possible, pick a dwelling that has at least TWO: one for the girls, one for the guys. Yours can be full of the girls’ supplies arranged however you want and we’ll never interfere—you don’t even want to know what ours has! But please, if you must enter our tiled chamber of horrors, don’t throw away the magazines; the throne’s our thinkin’ time.
Bonus: FRESHENER SPRAY!
In the horrific event that you must share a bathroom with male roommate(s), if you don’t have several cans of freshener spray on hand you are creating a DEATHTRAP! Even if there are two bathrooms, keep them around anyway in case the guys’ stench wafts! Sometimes it’s even unpleasant for the other guys, so do you want to take that risk? Didn’t think so!
Previously a long-held taboo, the practice of both sexes co- habitating before or without intent of marriage is the new tradition, and rightfully so. It’s a great way for platonic groups to learn about each other, and excellent compatibility checking or pre-marital practice for college couples. So keep the preceding points in mind and both sides of the biologic divide will be much happier.
Just don’t forget the spray!