Dear Male Delivery,
What is the best thing to say to a guy when he is upset?
It’s easy to say that when anyone is upset (guys and especially girls), that the one who is there to comfort is sometimes left very dumbfounded in regards to what to do. In some cases, there really is no smooth way at all to make things better. Sometimes you just have to let the steam subside by giving time.
Under this question, though, I will draw two scenarios, (1) What you should do when we are upset at you and (2) what you should do when we are upset about something else.
- In a relationship, there will always be conflict in something. Don’t be fooled by that couple that is so cheesy lovey with each other at the dinner table. They are more than likely arguing about something (maybe the cat, the toilet seat, vehicle speeding, or something asinine like that) . It’s ok. We are all human and we argue. Plus, let’s not forget the fact that we are girls and guys, with two completely different psyches, and we function on two different wavelengths.
So, if he’s mad at you (justified reason or not), DO NOT make him out to be the jerk in the situation. For us to be disrespected means the absolute insult to our manhood. We want our work, efforts, love, etc. to be respected. No support from our significant other makes us madder than a hornet.
As far as consoling him about it his anger, it might be best to admit fault if it really is your fault or just let him cool off a bit if he is being ridiculous (and we do pitch unnecessary fits). Many times we may not even have the right to throw a kid-like temper tantrums, so let us cool off and hope that we apologize for our unjustified actions. If he apologizes, he is a true, good man. If he doesn’t, he’s too stubborn for relationships.
- There is also the times when we are upset about things outside of our relationship. This may include work, friends, school, sports, etc. When we come to you and explicitly show our dislike of what has happened to us and how we are mad about it, know that we want comfort and assurance from you knowing that we are capable and sufficient even in our shortcomings. Love on us, take us out to our favorite restaurant, or even buy us a nice pack of craft brews (if you are of age). That shows us that you value our sanity and desire our happiness and you want to help us get it back. Be assuring and encouraging and make him feel like an awesome guy. That is respect. And we love respect.
The respect aspect of a man is very important to understand because we want to feel the love of knowing that we are able to conquer the world (I know it’s cheesy, but it is true). A woman that supports and shows us that we are able to be very good at the things in our life is a woman very valuable to us.
A special note on sports:
For your very fanatic, special, superfan boyfriend, be extra special loving when his best team loses the big game. You probably have no idea what is going on during the game or how they lost, but your boyfriend will be very upset when things go awry. He may cry and it WILL be pathetic, but hug him, kiss him, wipe away stupid tears and let him know that everything will be ok, because it is JUST A GAME.
In conclusion, works things out when he is upset with you and comfort him when something is wrong with external factors. The support will do us so much good.