Impractical Women's Fashion That Just Makes Us Angry

Women have to deal with a lot—the pay gap, gender roles, always being underestimated...and impractical fashion is just another one. Here are a few of the worst perpetrators.

Exhibit A: Underwear

Ok so let’s be real—90% of the underwear out there is designed in such a way that it never seems to completely do its job (i.e. the only job it has: covering your behind). All us women want is a good pair of undies we can pick out of the drawer in the dark and not wonder if it’s the pair that’s going to creep up into our lady bits all day.

Cheeky Underwear

What is the purpose of this? Also, the sole purpose of underwear is to cover one’s rear end, so, in essence, cheeky underwear is designed for the pure and simple reason of only covering half your rear end. If it’s only doing half the job, why is it full-priced??? 

One might counter: Well, thongs don’t cover any part of one’s ass so they, too, must be purposeless. To the contrary, thongs have a purpose: to allow women to wear certain outfits without the looming threat of panty lines.

Exhibit B: Bathing Suits

Bottoms

These bikini bottoms keep getting lower and lower. Now I understand why they call it a bikini wax…

One-Pieces

Why do women have to pay for bikini bottoms and tops separately? This literally doubles the cost. Sure, one might say “just buy a one-piece.” But the response to that is clear: “Unless you are one of those super confident women who don’t mind having their entire ass exposed from the ever-encroaching bikini cut of the one-piece bottom half, one-pieces are reserved for women like Demi Lovato and Kim Kardashian, and if I wear a one-piece, I’ll either look like a lifeguard or my grandma from the 70s.” Essentially they’re The Neverending (wedgie) Story.

In theory, all these stringy suits are cute, but if we are being honest, they are just going to make us look like we kept getting burned from touching the red lasers from a spy movie or like a bad twist on the game Operation.

Exhibit C: Fake Pockets (aka Fockets)

Why? Just why? Forget a fashion statement, figuring out your pockets are fockets are the perfect way of finding out your favorite pair of shorts or pants are just a total imposter.

But here’s what really doesn’t make sense: It is a hard-boiled fact that women carry WAY more with them than guys, yet men’s pants have pockets so deep you can find the entrance to Narnia in them.

Conspiracy Theory

Fockets are a “fashion statement” implemented by the fashion industry to keep purse sales afloat. 

While these particular pieces of fashion can be irritating, we can still relish in the fact that college fashion is mainly comprised of some variation of the yoga pant and a t-shirt designed for someone at least three times our own size. 

So, here's to finding that perfect pair of underwear and a dress with pockets!

I am an Entertainment and Media Studies major pursuing a film studies minor and a new media certificate. I hail from Acworth, Ga, and enjoy writing, pointing out inaccuracies in movies, and binge watching any highly rated show on Netflix with a healthy 5 or more seasons. Outside of stressing for grades I need to maintain Zell, I also enjoy being sarcastic and spending time with my friends. 

 

*Yes, that is my senior picture. It cost a lot of money; I have no shame. 

You Might Also Enjoy